Fallen Heroes

Chapter Eight: Too Much Holy Shit

I had to put a hand on Sam's shoulder to shock him back to reality. I could've sworn that he was going to faint with excitement. "Sammy, calm down," I said.

He glanced at me, then back to God. "Right," he said slowly.

"What's the deal, Daddy-o?" Gabe asked. "You're not back just 'cause you liked Cassie, that much I know."

"The Darkness," Chuck said.

Gabe nodded. "Ah, good ol' Auntie Amara. She's why you're back?"

"No, I'm back for the pizza bagels." He suddenly frowned in thought. "Though I have always wondered about them..."

Gabriel snapped his fingers, bringing his father back to reality. "Less about pizza bagels, more about the Darkness."

Chuck shook his head. "Yeah, right. Darkness. About that..." he trailed off.

"About what?" I asked in annoyance.

He scrunched up his forehead sadly as he took in his two sons. "I was hoping that it would never come to this, but," he sighed.

"But what? Come to what?" I demanded.

"I'd hoped that it would never come to the point where I'd have to kill my own children."

Sam and I stared at him in shock, blinking in surprise. "As in... Earth or the angels?" Sam asked softly.

"Yes."

I choked on air. "You're ending everything? Humans, angels... Just like that? Without so much as a fight?"

"You wouldn't understand," Chuck said.

I stormed up to him. "The hell I wouldn't. You've been MIA for the past," I gestured wildly around me, "bazillion years and when your big sister shows up, you suddenly roll over and let her destroy everything you've ever built? This ain't a pile of Legos that you can just scatter, Chuck. We aren't just something that you can knock over. If you won't fight for us, we'll fight for ourselves."

He smiled softly. "That's why I created humanity. That's why I've been gone, Dean. You needed to learn to fight for yourselves. And now you have."

"But at what cost?" I hissed. "We'll all be dead. We can't fight then."

Chuck sighed, his gaze over my shoulder. "I'm not ending the Earth or the angels. Just... Some of them."

My eyes widened in horror as I looked back and noticed that he was staring at Castiel.

Cas and Sammy.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I gasped as my vision blurred and my balance failed. I sat down, hard, as my brother and my angel ran to me.

"Dean!" Sam called. He grabbed my face in his hand, shaking me back to reality. "Dean, we've talked about this. You have to let me go."

My voice was thick with tears. "What about Cas? I just got him back, Sammy. I can't lose both of you."

"You won't have to," God said. I looked up at him as he stood between Gabriel and Castiel. "You'll only lose one."

I stared blankly at him. "What do you mean?"

He sighed and sat next to me. "Sam has Castiel's grace. Amara would be satisfied if only Sam was sacrificed."

"No," I shook my head, standing up. "No, I'm not losing either of them."

Sam followed behind me as I began pacing anxiously. "Dean. Dean, look at me." I finally raised my gaze to meet his. "It'll be okay," he smiled, tears in his eyes. "I'll be okay." He wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest.

"I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing, Sammy," I cried. Sam didn't respond. He finally stepped back, shooting me a final sad smile before he disappeared with Chuck.

I fell to the ground in a heap of tears and hiccups, crying harder when someone's arms wrapped tightly around me. "Dean-" Cas started.

I cut him off by wrapping my arms around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. He held me tightly, never before seeing me show that level of vulnerability.

The next few days were a blur, and the only thing I could remember was getting the news that Amara had accepted God's deal and that Sammy was dead.

But this time, there was no second chance. No redo, no do over. The only time I was sober was when I set my little brother alight, sending him up to the heavens.

Since then, I stared silently at the wall in my room. Cas tried to help me, tried to get me back into the game, but nothing worked.

Slowly, I felt myself wasting away. Gabriel had stayed with us because he was still getting used to being a human, and between me and him, Castiel was up to his ears in trouble.

By taking care of me and his brother, he neglected to take care of himself, slowly fading away before my lifeless eyes. But there was nothing that I could do to pull myself from the cage.

Sammy was gone for good and Cas wasn't far behind him. I was dragging Cas down with me, and I'd have been damned if I would have ever let that happen.

So, I did the only logical thing I could think of at the time. I left.