Fallen Heroes

Bonus Chapter: What to do in Heaven

A/N: This chapter takes place after Chapter 18 in "Where the Love of God Goes."

I clicked on my computer, already bored out of my mind. Without Sammy, Cas, or hell, even Gabe, there was absolutely nothing to do in Heaven. I didn't know how long I'd been there. A day, a week, a century?

I thought back to when my and Sammy's lives became a TV show. "Huh," I mumbled to myself as I checked up on our favorite actors. Cool thing about Heaven is that I can do anything that I had done in my past life.

That meant searching "myself" on Google. Frowning, I clicked the link to a "Tumblr" page that was solely dedicated to me and Cas.

"Not creepy at all," I grumbled. I narrowed my eyes at the top item, a story. No, a fanfiction. I sighed and clicked on it, slightly curious about what people thought Cas and I did.

My heart still hurt when I thought about him, but at least now we'd be together again. Thank you, Chuck.

I frowned as I read the summary.

What begins as a transforming love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak in the summer of 1965 quickly derails into something far more tumultuous when Dean is drafted in the Vietnam War. Though the two both voice their relationship is one where saying goodbye is never a real truth, their story becomes fraught with the tragedy of circumstance. In an era where homosexuality was especially vulnerable, Twist and Shout is the story of the love transcending time, returning over and over in its many forms, as faithful as the sea.

I raised an eyebrow, now concerned about what exactly was in that book. I began reading, dread knotting in my stomach from the first sentence.

I was only a few chapters in and I was already hooked. Cas and I moved in together! I squealed in excitement, all worry fading away.

However, soon enough I was drafted. My reading pace slowed as I tried to keep myself calm. "I'll be fine," I reassured myself. "There are still a bunch of chapters left, I can't die."

I thought back to my own life and how many chapters there still were, even without me there. Ignoring the thought, I pushed through, freezing when I read a familiar name that had been long forgotten.

"Shit! We forgot Adam!" I tried to make myself stand up to call someone to find our half brother, but I couldn't pull my attention from the story. "I'll do it later," I vowed. However, his name was soon forgotten again once I came home.

All the things I did to Cas, all the things I put him through... I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I would've never done that to Cas... Right?

The moment I left was the moment I first cried. I cried until Gabriel called, telling me that Cas was dying. I had to leave the room for a moment, clenching my fists to keep myself grounded.

I slowly read through the final chapters, stopping when I read the lines of a familiar song.

Wise men say,
Only fools rush in...

But I can't help,
Falling in love...

With
You

My heart shattered at the story's most famous line.

Cas died on a Thursday. It was sunny. Late afternoon. Beautiful California weather.

By that time, I was sobbing grossly, thankful that no one could hear me. My vision was blurred as I read the epilogue.

Dear Cas...

I screamed at the last words, desperately hoping that it wasn't the end. But it was. I cried on my desk for what seemed like years. When I finally managed to pull myself together, my eyes were sore and my cheeks were taut and itchy with tears. "See you then," I whispered to myself.

I hiccuped, slamming my laptop closed. If I was still alive, I'd have kicked their asses for writing that.

"Dean?" I spun around and stared at Cas, his expression fading from excitement to worry. "Were you crying?"

I ran to him and squeezed the breath out of him. I smashed my lips into his, earning a grunt of surprise from Cas. Tears dripped down my cheeks again as I held his face in my hands. "Cas, do you dig Elvis?"

His face was really worried now, "Sure? I can 'dig' Elvis."

I started crying again, burying my face in his shoulder and clinging to him for dear life. "I'm so sorry, Cas!"

"Dean, what is going on?!" he asked, panic in his voice.

"I never should've left."

Cas rested his hand on my cheek. "You were trying to protect me."

My eyes widened as I looked back at my laptop, then at Cas. Realization dawned on me, "I'll always leave you, won't I?"

"Why would you think-"

I cut him off with another kiss. "I'm so sorry, Cas. I promise, I'll never leave again."

"Good," he replied, still confused.

I walked over to my laptop and opened it. "This is why I was crying. It's a story about you and me."

Cas frowned. "Is it true?"

"No."

"Then why should I-"

I shoved the computer into his hands. "Just read it, Cas."

Some time later, he marched up to me and hugged me tightly, his hands balling into fists around the shirt on my back. "Never play Elvis again," he whispered.

I held him just as tight. "Never. I love you, Castiel."

"I love you, too."

The story referenced is Twist and Shout on AO3.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955176