all I wanted; ministar (discont.)

12

Most of the events from last night were still fresh in my head. The room I was in wasn't my own, but with a little bit of back tracking I remembered how I got here. After I heard Simon say the stuff he did I ran out of the house. Harry saw this and knew to follow me. Some how he convinced me to get in the car and go home with him. And that's how I ended up here. I continued to regain my thoughts, my head was spinning and I felt nauseous. I quickly ran to the restroom and emptied my stomach for the second time in 8 hours.
"Harry," I called. The boy rushed into the restroom. He looked fine considering last night he was totally shitfaced. Maybe he just handled alcohol better than me. Or maybe I couldn't handle my booze at all.
"Vikk is everything okay?" My head was still clung to the toilet bowl so if that wasn't an answer in itself I didn't know what was. I stay there feeling utterly defeated. This is why I hate drinking, the next day is pure torture.
"I hate my life," I said with a low whine.
"Here Vikk it's okay, take this." Harry handed me some Advil and a water bottle.
"Cheers."
"Vikk if you want you can stay here for a while.." He trailed off waiting for a response. I continued sipping my water, delaying the conversation as much as I could. We both stood and I slumped onto the bed.
"Don't get me wrong Harry, I'd love to hide away from Simon and act like a child but I think going to try and be the bigger person," I was trying to sound strong, but my words were shaky and transparent. I've known Harry for long enough, obviously he could tell when I was faking it.
"Vikk.. I don't think you're ready to face Simon."
"And why is that?"
"Because you're an extremely fragile person," he held onto my shoulder. His touch was calming, I liked it.
"Pshh. Me? Fragile? What.. That's the first I'm hearing of this."
"Vikk you were completely distort last night. The things you told me were horrible. Alcohol always bring out the truth in you," I tried my absolute hardest to recollect anything from the time I stepped into Harry's car to the time I crashed in his bed. Nothing was coming up. This is why I don't drink, this is why I don't put myself in stupid situations because I hate dealing with anything outside of my comfort zone. It's just annoying having to go back and put broken pieces together.
"What if you come with me, like a support system?" It's not that I didn't want to stay with Harry it's just that I needed to make videos and push on from this. I needed to improve my mental health and pretend like I wasn't phased in the slightest.
"Okay I'll take you home in a little while."
"Harry.. Thanks for everything last night, I'm so happy to have a friend like you," he smiled and cupped my hand in his.
"Me too Vikk, me too."
----
We entered the Sidemen house. It was surprisingly clean besides random cups and a beer bottle or two. You couldn't tell that a huge party was thrown last night though.
"Hello?" I asked.
I heard a few moans coming from the kitchen. Most of the guys were there recovering from last night. Simon, to my relief wasn't there.
"Um, Vikk.. Harry told us about last night," Josh said with a reassuring look. "If you want to talk I'm here for you. I know it might be awkward considering it's only us three in the house most of the time but-"
"Josh don't even bother. I'll be fine I promise.."
"It's just Simon doesn't know-"
"Simon doesn't what?"
If you speak of the devil he will appear. I couldn't say a word I just looked down. I could tell he was still hungover. He swayed as he walked over to me.
"Hey baby.." He attmepted to kiss me but I ran over to Harry.
"Don't touch him Simon."
"What I just want a piece of my Vikky."
"He isn't your Vikky when you treat him like shit," Harry defended me like I was his brother.
"Guys we really don't need this right now," Ethan said placing an icepack on his head.
"Simon just say sorry and we can move on."
I spoke up.
"No we can't move on, I won't move on. Simon isn't sorry, if he could redo it he probably would," I said moving away from Harry. No one ever listened to me, this was my only chance.
"Vikk please. He was drunk, just hear him out. He's-"
"You all wouldn't fucking get it. We have been talking for weeks now! We were practically dating," Everyone was shocked. I looked straight at Simon. He couldn't even look at me.
"Guess what Simon? You aren't straight. You can be any sexuality but your sure as hell not straight. You love dick," I said slamming my hands on the counter. "All the shit you told me made me actually feel wanted for once and now I know it was all fake. Yea you made me feel on top of the world but now I'm back at rock bottom once again, congratulations. You're fucking dead to me," I threw my chair out and ran upstairs. Quickly I locked my door before anyone could invade my privacy.
----
"See Simon.. The thing is everything your saying comes back to a complete circle. So the question that everyone is wondering is.. Why the fuck did you do it?" Tobi said coaxing me.
"I-I was drunk. My emotions were high and heavy, my thinking wasn't straight but come on how could it be when I'm not even straight," I put my head down on the table. My beautiful drunken state was wearing off and things were becoming clear. I lost the best thing in my life. If only I had the willpower to break my head on the marble countertop, such an easy way out.
"You do realize whatever you two had before this point is completely gone. Vikk never ever gives second chances," I nodded knowing this perfectly. Vikk was a kind, gentle person. But if you crossed that boy, you'd never hear from him again. Poof, you're out of his life forever. I've seen him do that to friends, ex-girlfriends, and now I guess I had a spot reserved at the top of the list. The fact of the matter was that I fucked up. Royally. I needed a way to fix this. The guys were all talking, I wasn't really picking up their conversation. Without saying a word I left the kitchen and made my way upstairs. Passing a mirror, I examined the purple-ish bruise blooming on my check. I forgot to thank Harry for that. I reached Vikk's door and anxiety took over. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I didn't even try the handle, I knew he wouldn't leave his door open. I knocked loudly.
"Vikk.. It's Simon," at first there was no noise. Then there was an loud rustling coming from within the walls. I was just about to knock again when something slid at my feet. It was the yellow notepad. I smiled when I opened it. Vikk had filled up a majority of the pages with small quotes, little doodles and other passages of writing. On the last page was a pink sticky note. In his small, neat handwriting a few words were written.
I will always have a place for you in my heart..

Just not in my life
Word Count 1298
1k READS! thank you all so much <3
I'm really glad you all like this story, you guys are great :-)) school is starting soon but I'll try to stay consistent