|Love means falling and I'm afraid of heights|
Josie Easton, local highschool star football player, is your average seventeen year old teenage girl with the world on her shoulders. With senior year coming to a close and Uni quickly approaching you...
My feet walk across the cold concrete driveway leading to Josie's house and my thoughts are tangled. Luke called me at three this morning letting me know what happened. I am not going to play it off like I was not concerned and worried about her, I was just occupied at the moment. I also did not like the fact that Kian was the one that took it upon his self to watch after her letting him seem like the hero.
I let my knuckles knock against the hollowed out wooden door and wait with fringed nerves. Moments pass by and no one comes to the door making me debate whether or not I should welcome myself in. I raise my fist to knock once again but soon the door is pulled open and I almost decided whether or not I should put my fist down.
"Oh look who finally decided to show up when it was convenient for them." Kian says with venom laced around every word, looking at me with hatred and jealousy.
"It doesn't matter, I'm here now aren't I?" I say pushing past him and walking towards the stairs.
"You don't realize just how special of a person Josie is do you? Yet here you are not appreciating what you have. So many other guys would kill to have a shot at Jos." Kian says beating me up the stairs, "Yea including you? You can't stand the sight of Josie being happy with me." I say making him stop midway up the staircase.
"She isn't yours just yet, If I remember correctly the other day Josie said you two were just talking." He says walking down a few steps to become eye level with me.
"Yet. Who knows what if I was planning on asking her today?" I say squinting my eyes and folding my arms against my chest.
"I honestly don't give a shit because I already know that when you fuck up...probably soon... I will be there for her to fall back on." He says turning in the opposite direction and continuing towards her room.
"It must suck to know that she doesn't think about you that way and never will." I say and before he can say another remark I walk fully into Josie's room and see her awake observing the ceiling above.
"Hey babes." I say walking over and pecking her lips gently which earns me a small smile as Kian enters. "How are you feeling?" I say still standing and Kian comes to stand beside me.
"A lot better than I would have imagined. Kian made sure I took medicine earlier so it wouldn't be so horrible now." She says looking over to Kian with a pair of caring eyes that I wish could have been directed towards me.
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I wish I would have came sooner so I could have been the one to make her feel better and comfort her. This is one of the many reasons I did not want to get involved because I suck at being there for the ones who I should care about most. I know that every word Kian said was true, I need to learn to appreciate Jos more before she slips right through my fingers.
"Well you don't have to stay any longer, I think you've helped enough." I say so his presence can leave and it will leave Josie and I alone so I can talk to her.
"I'm in no hurry besides I'm sure Jo loves the company." He states and I cringe at his casual use of a nickname for her. I look at Josie with pleading eyes hoping she can sense the need for him to leave.
"I bet you're really tired Kian and Calum's here now I should be fine." She says removing the covers from her fragile body and going to stand until Kian stops her and hugs her from her current position.
"No problem I'm glad I was there to help you when others weren't." Kian says with an abundance of shadiness. My jaw becomes tense and clenches as I glare at him at his body exiting the room.
"Josie...I just want to apologize for not being there for you last night, I feel so shitty that I was no where to be found." I say taking her icy palms in mine and making her stand up so we could look at each other. She stares blankly at me with no words to be said letting seconds pass before speaking in a sparse whisper.
"I needed you." She begins and I go to interrupt her but she stops me, "It may have not seemed like a big deal but if you would have been there in the first place things would be different." She continues.
"You know I already had other plans and I made it very clear at dinner on Friday, I wasn't being shady." I begin to argue.
"Shady-" She laughs shaking her head, "You don't think you were being shady? Luke asked why I wasn't with you and I got so confused but then he must have remembered because he looked like he just blew your cover." Josie is becoming more and more upset as the moments pass and I almost regret ever bringing up the apology.
"You seriously think I'm hiding something? Just because I didn't go to a fucking party and get wasted to the point where I couldn't even bare my own like you?" I say angrily and tears are beginning to brim her piercing blue eyes. I do not like the idea that I am the one who is behind the oceans forming, but I am upset.
"It's not like that, I just needed you to be there. We haven't gave whatever the fuck this is a title but usually a guy goes out with the girl to make sure she's protected and nothing happens. What if I would have got date raped or something? Would that have made it more important and made higher on your priority list?" She lets her knees bend and takes a seat on the bed behind her looking up straight into my eyes.
"But you didn't. Your blowing things way out of proportion right now, you were surrounded by others." I bark almost too loudly. "We aren't even together and we are already arguing. Maybe I was right for not wanting to pursue this in the beginning. I can't be what you need." I say shaking my head and she is in brink of full on tears.
"No one is keeping you here Calum, just go continue fucking Kelsey."She says standing up and pushing her hands against my chest but is to weak to bulge me. I grab a hold of her wrist to stop her from continuing.
"I'm not going to stay here and deal with this, I came by to check on you but now I regret doing so..." I say letting go of her.
"Then go! Fucking leave I don't care at this point!" She shouts and her external actions reflect what is going on inside of me.
"I'm so over this honestly. You don't want to try to make this work so why should I?" I say as I look at her eyes trickling with tears as she shakes her head and I look away walking out her bedroom door.
