Broken Soul (Clarke And Lexa AU)

in her eyes

"Fuck me!" Lexa said loudly.
"What?!" Dylan answered, completely intrigued. He followed her eyes to a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Lexa's eyes remained on the woman by the bar. Dylan looked from her to his friend.
"Who is that?!" He demanded. Lexa finally peeled her eyes of the blonde to meet her best friend's eyes with the most unemotional expression.
"I dunno," Lexa shrugged. Dylan lowered his head and glared at her. She shrugged again. He wasn't convinced.
"Grrrrl! You don't know her?! Why the 'fuck me' then, huh? And the eyes... I know you, bitch. You can't hide shit from me!" He cried dramatically. She just smiled. Just then, skinny young Japanese man with a pink mohawk sat on Dylan's lap. Saved by Sam, Lexa thought. She wasn't quite drunk enough to come up with a half valid excuse for why that woman affected her so deeply. The truth was, she didn't even know. As she watched her best friend and his boyfriend interact, she smiled.
"Jett!" The karaoke hostess yelled, making Lexa smile even bigger. Several people in the crowd screamed with glee, including Dylan and Sam.
Lexa looked to the blonde. They met eyes briefly. The woman was beginning to smile when Lexa averted her eyes quickly. She made her way up to the stage and took a deep breath. As the song started, she closed her eyes. She kept them closed throughout the song.
When Lexa's voice hit the air, the energy in the bar changed. The depth of feeling hit even the drunkest person in that bar. Her notes were haunting, hit with technical perfection. Everyone hung in the moment, mesmorized by her voice, smooth and ethereal. When she opened her eyes after the last note, a single tear fell from her left eye.
The crowd lost their shit as Lexa thanked them and quickly exited the stage. She made her way straight to the bar. She slapped a few hands that were up to high five her. "That was incredible!" "You have an amazing voice!" They said. She smiled and nodded, as if she didn't really want their praise. It wasn't that she knew she was good, although it was obvious. She didn't do it for praise; she did it for a release, to work through the emotions that she couldn't let out in any other way.
With a drink finally in her hand, she turned to face those eyes again, deep blue like tropical waters, pure and untouched by human contamination. In spite of herself, Lexa lingered in them. The woman smiled.
"That was intense," she said, smile remaining. Lexa breathed out raggedly, finally noticing that she hadn't been breathing. It was the woman's eyes. Lexa saw something there. After a moment of silence, the woman held out her hand.
"Clarke." Lexa looked down and instinctively took the hand in front of her. It was soft yet firm.
"Lexa."
"Nice to meet you, Lexa. Your voice is...wow!" Lexa looked away, but nodded to be polite. "I could really feel what you were singing, ya know?" Lexa nodded again. Clarke moved her face to meet Lexa's eyes.
"Thanks," Lexa said abruptly, averting her eyes again. Then she realized that they were still holding hands and took hers away rather roughly.
"So, I was wondering if you would want to go to coffee-"
"I don't date," Lexa cut her off. Clarke smiled slightly.
"I need a singer for my band and you-"
"No thank you," Lexa cut her off, glancing briefly at Clarke's eyes and started to walk away.
"Why can't you look at me?" Clarke asked loudly to make sure Lexa heard her.
"What?" Lexa tried to pretend she had no idea what Clarke was talking about. But there was something about her...made her think that she wouldn't be able to lie.
"When we first started talking, you met my eyes for awhile. Now you can't even look at me..." Lexa sighed visibly.
"I see people. When I look into their eyes for a period of time, I can see who they really are." Lexa spoke in monotone. She was shocked that she was telling this woman things she rarely told anyone. There was a good reason she almost never looked someone in the eyes that long.
"So what did you see?.." With that, Lexa looked directly into her eyes with a serious expression.
"No," she said firmly and walked away. Clarke grabbed her arm lightly.
"Wait," she said gently. Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. Clarke released Lexa's arm. "Sorry."
"Hope you have a good night." Lexa left Clarke with those final words, both feeling confused and even more intrigued. Clarke smiled with her eyes.
Lexa walked toward the table and chugged her drink. Her heart was pounding. The place where Clarke touched her arm still throbbed with a breathtaking heat. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling the feelings rising up in her. By the time she got to the table, the feelings were sufficiently squelched.
"I need another drink, D," she said to her best friend. The look on her face told Dylan that she was serious and there would be no explanation.
"I got it, boo," Sam said to Lexa and sauntered off to the bar. He knew that look. It was a long island ice tea night for Lexa, and that is what he would get her. Both him and his boyfriend were extremely curious as to what had shaken her so badly, but knew better than to ask.
So they all pretended that nothing was happening. That was her way, and the boys respected her silence. Lexa was vibrant and filled with light that shines brightly on the world, but she never talked about feelings. It was all too painful for her. Every emotion she felt ached deeply. She sang to release. And that's as far as it went. That's all that she could handle.