Broken Soul (Clarke And Lexa AU)

The First Taste

"Tacos," Lexa muttered. Then she giggled as Clarke began to take off the drunk woman's shoes. Their trip to Taco Bell had left Lexa grinning still. She fell back on the bed wth her arms spread wide, making the blonde smile in spite of herself. As hard as it was to know just how much pain Lexa carried, and know it was that pain that inspired this drunken state, it was nice to see her smile so much. 

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," Clarke said after she had gotten Lexa out of her pants and under the blankets. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Noooo!" Lexa protested loudly. She yanked Clarke onto the bed and on top of her. The closeness took Clarke's breath away. Lexa seemed to be having difficulty breathing as well, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Clarke was putting pressure on her lungs. Their eyes met.

"Lexa," Clarke started, but lost herself in a sea of green. With her guard down due to her inebriated state, Lexa lingered in the deep blue of Clarke's eyes. 

"Fuck," Lexa breathed out. "You're so fucking beautiful!" Clarke started to smile. 

"Please stay," Lexa said softly her eyes showing a vulnerability that Clarke had never seen before. It simultaneously startled and humbled her. 

"Lexa, you're drunk."

"That doesn't change the way I feel..." There was a comfortable silence in which Clarke searched Lexa's eyes. Before she knew what was happening, Lexa sat up slightly, grabbed the blonde's shirt and pulled her into a kiss. 

They gently settled back onto the bed. And despite her better judgement, Clarke relaxed into Lexa' lips. She felt the soft warmth of Lexa's long fingers on her cheek. This sent a jolt through her body, making everything inside her stop momentarily. There was a barely audible moan, loud exhaling through nostrils. Neither knew which did either. Maybe it was both of them. But it didn't matter; they had escaped into another dimension. More moaning, all hands in motion. They were lost for a moment until Clarke regained enough of her capacity for thought long enough to stop herself.

"I can't," Clarke said, trying to catch her wavering breath. "Not like this." Lexa creased her forehead in a strange sort of desperation

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," Clarke said, using all of her will power to pull herself away from the beautiful creature beneath her. "If you even remember it," she added quietly. 

Lexa looked deep into Clarke, and with utmost sincerity, said, "Clarke...I will never forget that kiss." She looked almost completely sober. And for a moment, Clarke almost gave in. But she didn't want their fist time to be when Lexa was drunk; and if she stayed, there would be no stopping it.

"Sweet dreams,beautiful," Clarke said, kissing Lexa's  forehead. She forced herself to get up off the bed. Lexa's sweet smile made her stomach float into her throat, making it even harder to leave the room. But she knew she had to, for both their sakes. She didn't want Lexa to regret it. A part of her was afraid that it wouldn't happen if Lexa was sober. And that would crush her heart.

Once outside the room, Clarke leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. The taste of Lexa's kiss lingered on her lips. It took her several minutes to regain composure enough to walk away. She brushed her teeth in a daze. No one had ever kissed her so deep. And she felt so strongly that she never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.