Rusame - Lets Fuck

Fourty Two

"No. The pain is worth it if I keep you. Dad always used to say that if something hurts you, hang on to it for as long as it takes for things to get better. Unless it's a hot iron, that is."

Alfred began to cry, closing his eyes tightly as he could. " I-I'm nothing "

"No. You're everything to me." Ivan held his hand even more tightly. "I'm not letting go."

He continues to cry , shamelessly sobbing his heart out.

"It's okay, I promise. It's okay." He repeated in a soft voice, tears tracking down his face in little silver rivulets.

" I-Its not okay " he cried , " I don't deserve someone as perfect as you are"

"No, I don't deserve you for letting this happen. I should have got here sooner."

" I-It's not your fault I'm cursed " he whines

"Well, if so, it isn't your fault either." He reassured him with a gentle embrace.

He nodded, " I was born a curse "

"No. Don't say that about yourself." He shook his head firmly.

" I am. "

"What makes you say that, then?" He raised an eyebrow.

" I killed my parents....I......forget it " Alfred kept his eyes shut

Ivan, upon remembering what Alfred had told him before, shook his head. "No. That's not true."

" Yes it is...." Alfred gulps, " All of my other family hates me...even the kids at the Orphinage. ....the boss there beated me and those kids "

"He was a twisted man. You know that. It wasn't anything personal."

"Alfred, you couldn't help what happened." Ivan looked at him with a mournful expression in his eyes.

" I shouldn't of been born " he stated.

"No. No. Don't ever say that." Ivan hugged him as tightly as he could without hurting him. "I feel like I'm gonna cry."

" Don't cry " Alfred whimpers, " Please"

"I can't help it." Ivan whispered into his neck, feeling the tears start to fall.

" Y-You shouldn't need to cry over me " Alfred began to cry himself, unable to move his body he curses; Wanting to hug him back.

"I love you too much. I don't want you to feel like this anymore."

" I've been feeling this my entire life "

"Let it go, please. Just stay with me." Ivan held him tight, still crying softly into his shoulder.

" I can never let it go, look at me..." Alfred managed to press his head against Ivans , " The world wants me dead "

"No. As long as I'm alive, I won't let it take you down."

" I-Ivan " He cried again, unable to hold back his tears

"It's okay. I love you." Ivan couldn't hold back his own distress by now, openly sobbing into Alfred's shoulder.

" I love you too " he go continues to sob, feeling pathetic

"Let it all out. It'll be okay, I promise." Ivan told him, sniffling a little as he composed himself again.

He curses , having made his boyfriend upset. Feeling more like crap, with Alfred feeling like he breaks everything he touches.

"You're the most wonderful person in my life. I don't ever want you to leave." He slowly pulled away. "Okay?"

Alfred mumbles a yes, sniffling away his years.

"Good." He planted another kiss on Alfred's lips, trying his best to hide his emotions behind a wobbly smile.

Alfred trys to miss him back, not wanting Ivan to pull away.

Understanding his intentions, Ivan held the kiss until he couldn't breathe.

Alfred kept kissing him, trying to show how sorry he was.

Ivan felt the emotion behind the kiss, and as he pulled away, he mumbled three words; "I'm sorry too."

Alfreds warm sorrowful eyes look deep into Ivans. " I know you were excited for me to come out today...."

"Yeah. I really was." He replied softly.

" Me too " Alfred whispered, a warm smile appearing on his face.

He rested his head on Alfred's shoulder once more. "I'm so tired... You would have really become part of the family when we got you out."

" Alfred Braginski...sounds nice " Alfred continued to smile

"Well, you won't legally change your name until we get married." Ivan laughed. "You'll be like a housemate, but my boyfriend."

" Marridge sounds nice too " Alfreds warm smile turns into a happy grin

"It does. It really does." Ivan kissed his neck gently, closing his eyes. "Can I sleep here?"

" Yes of course you can " he attempted to kiss back