I Drank The Poison and I Passed The Fuck Out.

Have You Ever Really Danced On The Edge?

I rolled onto my left side, with no prevail.

I’d been tossing and turning all night long trying to sleep, but I couldn’t get comfortable.

I thought I heard Sarah and Mike talking, but I ruled it as my imagination.

I was happy for them, truly I was.

Finally I got up to be sick again, because I knew I wasn’t going to sleep until I’d thrown up my dinner.

As I was hugging the toilet, my new best friend, I heard the door open and close.

"You alright?" Vic asked.

I shrugged, "For me, this is alright, so yes." I muttered.

He crouched down next to me, "I’m sorry I did this to you." He whispered.

I smiled, "Hey, I’ve done this before, no worries." I whispered.

He dabbed my forehead with a warm damp rag, "The first time, you didn’t have me, or Tony for that matter, to do this for you." He said.

I chuckled, "No, I had Sarah to hold my hand. And now she’s the one who’s going to need her hand held while she throws up every meal she tries to eat." I whispered.

"Yeah, my brother did a bang up job on that one obviously." He muttered.

"Nice choice of words Vic." I teased, sitting up and wiping my mouth.

He chuckled, "I’m not always poetic you know." He said.

We heard someone get up and footsteps go to the kitchen, then a cabinet open.

"We have a late night snacker." I whispered.

Vic shook his head, "It’s Mike. On days like today, when he’s especially stressed about something, Jack Daniels becomes his best friend." Vic explained.

"Michelle?" Mike’s voice cut through the silence.

I stood up and sloshed mouthwash in my mouth before exiting the bathroom.

"What’s on your mind Mikey?" I asked.

"Thank you." He said.

"For what?" I asked sitting on the couch.

"For not calling me daddy, papa or padre like everyone else." He said sitting across from me.

I smiled, "I, unlike them, understand how serious the situation is, and the feeling of the initial shock of finding out your having a baby. I remember." I said.

"How did you take it?" He asked.

"I was a mixture of anger, confusion and fear. I remember looking at Sarah and saying, ‘Oh I am going to KILL Tony!’" I said laughing lightly.

"What about with him?" He asked nodding toward my stomach.

"Well, Vic had just left for tour, as you may remember, and I was already uneasy about him leaving, because I was pretty sure I was. But when I took the test and got the results, I was so happy for us, I wanted to call him right away, but I didn’t because I knew he’d be busy. Then he called me and everything happened. I wasn’t even sure that I was going to be able to carry out the pregnancy because of the stress of everything going on. I got lucky I suppose." I said shrugging.

Mike shook his head, "I’m afraid I’m not ready." He said.

I nodded, "Yes you are. You’re just scared because the fact that you actually created a life is a big truth to accept. Mike, you were wonderful with Madison when she was born, and I know for a fact that you’ll be a great father to your own baby, be it boy or girl." I said.