A Righteous Love

Chapter Thirty-Two - We're All Pretty Oblivious

Chapter Thirty-Two - "We're All Pretty Oblivious"

*Trigger Warning*

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I had always thought that my friends might find out my secret. There was a small part of me that wanted to tell them, as much as most of me really didn't want too. Although they could have figured it out on their own, too. It wasn't that hard if you pieced it all together.

And because I pictured myself telling them about it so many times, I'd always imagined what their reactions would be. But it was nothing like this.

As I sat in silence in my car on Monday morning, a million and one thoughts swam through my mind. I really should have been leaving to go to school, but I had hope.

Hope that Justin would come walking out of his house and get in my car. Hope that he'd forgive me and say we were back to normal.

Hope that everything would be okay.

And that small ounce of hope I had in me worked, because at exactly 7:37 on my dashboard, I saw him. He opened his front door, waved goodbye to someone in his house, and crossed over his front lawn. Suddenly my heart started racing inside my rib cage and I became short of breath.

You would think I'd be smiling or something, but I was just kind of numb. I didn't think he'd actually come out and get a ride with me.

He pulled open the passenger's door and sat down in the seat, shut the door, and then looked over at me. Neither of us said a word.

"Hi," he greeted.

I was too busy chewing on my nails to answer right away. "Hi," I murmured, and then it was quiet again. 7:38. "Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad anymore," he sighed. "I'm just really confused. And concerned."

"I know," I shook my head. "But please, give me a chance to explain myself. I want to do it with everyone. I want to do it when we're all together because you guys all deserve an explanation." And he nodded, pursing his lips in thought. "I just... I wanna get through this school day with as little pain as possible. Then we can all meet up at my house or something later on and talk."

"Okay," he nodded again and looked up at me. And I felt relief when our eyes connected.

"If there's one thing you can give me," I breathed shakily. "It's a break. I already lost myself, I don't wanna lose my friends too." My eyes dropped to my hands and I felt my eyes start to burn with the familiar feeling of tears.

But I wouldn't cry. I had done too much crying over the past few days and I was done with it. I didn't need to cry and I wouldn't do it.

But when Justin leaned over and wrapped me in a much-needed hug, I couldn't help the one tear that trickled down my cheek. Like the last drop of my suffering leaving me. I had one more tear left that was fighting, and it finally won.

"You could never lose me," he said into my hair. "You never have and you never will. No matter what."

I smiled into his shoulder and shook my head, then we pulled away. "Thank you," I pressed my lips together and wiped away the stray tear on my face. He just smiled and sat back in his seat as I turned on my car and drove us to school at 7:42.

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Somehow, I got through the school day. Justin was talking to me and I had three classes with him, which made things a bit easier. Lunch was a little awkward, considering the fact that no one knew what to say, but we managed to get through it without mentioning Saturday night.