The Miner's Wife

Chapter 16: "Well, there is this one girl."

Katniss's POV

Real or not real?

Peeta's in the bathroom. He's been in there a long time now, but I don't hear a sound.

When I move to get out of his bed, I wince. I'm sore. And as I get up, his seed runs out of me.

Oh, no.

Up until this moment, it hasn't seemed real. It's been like being somewhere in between being awake and being asleep. But the harsh reality of the sticky insides of my thighs makes my mind suddenly become clear.

This is real.

With a pounding heart, I rush to my own bathroom. I know it's too late, but I try to clean up anyway, turning up the heat so the water is almost scalding my skin. Think, Katniss. When was your last period? As I do the math in my head, I close my eyes.

After I get out of the shower, I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are huge, and there is only a thin ring of gray surrounding my fully dilated pupils. My skin looks so pale in the harsh overhead light. There are scratch marks, long and red, on my upper body and my thighs. On my neck is a bruise that I think is from what we did on the couch. If I were still in school, I suppose I would call it a hickey. And a bit lower... is a bite mark. His teeth didn't break my skin, but they must have been close, because I can see impressions from each individual tooth. I know the bruising will look a lot worse in the morning. It's going to take weeks for this to heal.

Peeta bit me. He fucking bit me!

I find some old flannel pajamas in the drawer, so I dress and quietly get into my own bed.

A while later I hear his steps in the hallway, passing my door without pausing. Then he walks downstairs, and I hear the front door slam shut. His footsteps echo on the gravel outside.

I don't sleep... and Peeta does not return.

It's Reaping Day, and as much as I'd like to avoid the spectacle, I know I can't.

I look at my own reflection in the mirror critically. The lack of sleep from last night shows, and there's not much I can do about that either. I haven't braided my hair. I always braid my hair, and though it's going to be far too hot to comfortably wear it loose today, I don't have any choice. Everyone in 12 is going to be in the square for the reaping, and I can't show the gossiping housewives the hickey that Peeta gave me last night. It would only confirm what they've thought about me all along: that I'm just another Seam slut, that I'm Peeta Mellark's whore.

The bite mark is thankfully a little bit lower on my neck, and I've been able to just about cover it up with the high neckline of my light pink dress. The mark does look even worse than it did last night. It's bluish and purple. Proof that what happened yesterday was indeed real.

I don't know what this means. I have no idea what any of this means.

I wrap Ivy on my chest - it would be more comfortable to wear her on my back for such a prolonged period of time, but having her on my chest means I can embrace her. I realize it's more for my comfort than it is for hers. Thankfully she's still too young to understand what's going on, but I think I'll need that today.

Arrow is dressed in his best clothes - in fact, they are his only good clothes. I realize now that he's outgrown them, but it's too late. His trousers are too short. He's grown a lot these last few months. I can afford to buy him new clothes now, but I haven't. I consider heading over to the tailor after the reaping, but I doubt he'll be open today. Besides, spending money today would only remind me of why I have money to spend.