The Miner's Wife

Chapter 24: Junction

Katniss doesn't come to the train station to say goodbye. The train leaves after the children are in bed; she could have asked her mother to babysit, but we decided to say goodbye at home instead. It's probably not a good idea for people to see us together at the train station. More importantly, it's better for us if Katniss doesn't see me get on the train.

I was afraid that the desperate embrace we shared on the night of the anniversary of Gale's passing would cause a rift between us. Thankfully, it didn't. The difficult weeks following the anniversary of his death made it clear to me that Katniss and I protect each other. It's what we do. Tonight, I protect her by going to the Capitol.

I've packed and repacked a dozen times. I'm fidgeting, restless, and look at my watch every five minutes. Katniss looks pale and has been quiet all day. We're in the living room, but we're not speaking. Our untouched cups of tea have cooled on the table in front of us.

"Is Haymitch going to the train station with you?" Katniss finally breaks the silence.

"No. I'll spare him having to walk back to the Victors' Village alone late at night. If he's drunk, he could get lost and freeze to death."

"Okay." She swallows. "I'll keep an eye on him while you're gone."

"Thank you." I asked Haymitch to keep an eye on her, too. I hope to not only keep them safe, but also occupied. "I appreciate it, Katniss."

"I know you love him," she says.

"I do." I quickly blink my tears away, but she must have seen them. Her lower lip quivers, and I open my arms for her. We cling to each other, savoring these last precious minutes together.

"Please don't call me while I'm there." My voice isn't quite clear. "It's better if we don't talk unless there's an emergency."

"Why?" she asks, pressing her face against my neck. I feel her warm breath against my skin.

"I need to keep my two worlds separate." She stiffens in my arms.

I gently tilt her chin up so she looks directly at me. Her cheeks are wet with tears. I don't tell her that I love her. I know it makes her uncomfortable. She's not yet able to say it back. It doesn't bother me anymore that she can't, because I know that's what she feels. No, I don't tell her that I love her. Instead, I repeat the promise I made to her before.

"I'll come home to you."

She opens her mouth as if to say something, but then crushes her lips against mine. The kiss is deep and desperate. When our lips part, she whispers in my ear. "You're mine."

She's never said that to me before.

"I am. Always. And you are mine."

I check my watch again. "I have to go." She nods wordlessly. "I'll see you soon." I run my fingers along her braid one last time. "Give my love to the children."

The road to the train station has never felt longer than it does tonight. But I get on the train with a determination, a sense of purpose that I've never had on any of my previous trips to the Capitol. I need to protect them. Not just now, but in the long run. I could keep doing what I'm already doing, of course. I could be a good Victor and do whatever Snow tells me. But... there may be another way to protect them.

Years ago, shortly after I became a victor, there were whispers. I heard them over pillows at night. Over drinks, in dark corners at Capitol clubs.

Rebellion.

Treason.

Uprising.