Changed

chapter 36

harrys pov.

the atmosphere is cold and emotionless. we are both just starring at each other with are hearts in are hands but the difference between ares is mine is beaten and barley alive but his is perfect and beautiful. but that also makes perfect since, it fits us louis is this beautiful human being with both girls and boys falling at his feet and then theres me.. damaged goods. I've been raped and beaten but the worst pain I've ever endured is louis, louis tomlinson has wrecked me.

"harry i was hurting" those four small words simply did not make harry feel better.

"you were hurting? lou look at me" i stopped till louis saddened eyes looked deep into my soul "my heart has been ripped out beaten and spit on, but somehow no matter how hard you hurt me i still love you, you were all i thought about these last two months, you saved me from the disgusting thoughts.. I mean I'm not gonna say you didn't cause some of them but you are and have aways been my hero" louis carefully not wanting to hurt the broken boy infront of him, grabs him by the waist {obviously it was very easy} and carries him up stairs bridal style {hahahahah get it STYLE lol I'm funny} and plops him on the bed doing the same with himself.

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louis waited until he was sure harry was asleep before getting up and tiptoeing to the bathroom. after carful investigation louis found four blades and a full bottle of sleeping pills. louis knew harry was cutting, but the sleeping g pills worried him.. ALOT. without hesitation he went out side and threw everything away.

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"ahh" i gasped quickly opening my eyes to figure out what was happening, but it was just me in my room.. no louis, did he leave? did i freak him out?

by now harry was pacing his room trying to figure out what he did wrong.

"GOD I'm such a fucking screw up!" harry knew the one thing that would make him feel better so ran to his small bathroom. but they were missing

harry shoved things aside hastily looking for his things. when he hears is bedroom door open and an angelic voice calling his name

harry was steaming..

"hey haz" Louis looks up and notices how upset i am "whats wrong boo??"

"how fucking dare you. you had no right going through my stuff i cant FUCKING believe you did that" louis reaches for me but i instantly nudge him away "that was the only thing that helped me" harry was now on the floor cradling himself having a full on break down

"harry thats not healthy. i saw the pills and blades and freaked out so i threw them away" louis is obviously not sorry and that just pisses harry of more

"fuck you" were his last word before exiting the house.

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"you know, he just fuckin came back like everything would be alriii" harry is currently shitfaced drunk venting to a very nice bartender.

"he's dumb for letting you go. if i had a princess like you i would make sure to not let him out of my sight who knows what would happen" harry obviously didn't notice how the guy was looking at him or slowly moving his hand from harrys shoulder to his lower back.

"i like you" harry giggled and pet the tall mans face

"i like you too, you are so goddamn beautiful.. how about we get you another round of shots" the bartender moved behind the counter and quickly made three shots of tequila for harry which he gladly took, and in one minute they were gone and harry was even more drunk than before {if that was possible]

"how about i take you home, we wouldn't want anything bad happening to that pretty little body of yours" harry was incoherent and was pretty much blacking out from the many drinks

the bartender {nick} lived right down the road so it didn't take him long to get there and get harry upstairs into bed

"wow you are just so beautiful" nick whisper to harry while tracing a line up and down harrys body.

but harrys eyes were closed not able to do anything about the situation.

{morning}

"arghh" harry moaned as the light flashing through the curtains blinded him.. but those aren't his curtains? harry looked to the right to see a older man in bed with him.. staring at him.

"urm hi im nick" he whispered awkwardly

"oh my god"harry started shaking "he's gonna kill me, la-last time i did this-"

"louis isn't going to kill you, because nothing happened"

and this was completely true, i mean he did think about it but he also knew whoever louis was, harry was head over heals for him and nick didn't want to ruin something like that over his bad intentions

"h-how do you know about louis" harry was relieved but curious why this man "nick" knew so much about him

"man you were shitfaced last night"

"oh" harry awkwardly chuckles

"so do you want to talk about it..louis" nick looked since enough and it wasn't like they were ever gonna see each other again

"um so..we fought a lot and i started dating are "friend" ashton but then he he um.. rapped me and after all of it i felt imprisoned even though ashton was the one in prison i was trappd in my own guilt and depression and my escape was louis but as are relationship went on i still had trust issues i mean who wouldn't. so i doubted everything he did and that lead me to be the one who messed up. so i left louis, not by choice.. i thought he hated me so i fell into a very deep deep depression and i lost so much weight and kind of gave up on my self because without louis, without my escape I'm just another prisoner but then one day my escape came back to me.. and that scared me"

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"lou!" i yelled as i ran through my front door.. not even seconds later i saw the love of my life run down the stairs almost falling on the last step and with out hesitation ran into his arms

"where were you?" he looked at me almost as a mother would looking for any sign of an injury

"with a friend" i smiled

"we should talk haz" all the excitement and happiness soon deflated from both of are faces and that worried me.. is he leaving me? oh god i knew he would hate me

louis pats the spot on the couch next to him and i gladly take it and intertwine me and louis' fingers looking for some sort of closeness

"haz.." he inhales deeply " we both have hurt eachother in ways that shouldn't even be possible.. i love you wth all my heart and maybe a little bit more.. you have always and with always be my soul mate no matter what happens and where life takes us"

"what are you trying to say?" i restrain the tears already building up in my eyes

"have you talked to liam or niall, or even zayn since the halloween party?" louis looks so sad and guilty but i don't understand what do they have to do with me and louis

"no why?"

"haz.. zayn left, and we were so caught up in ourselves that we weren't even there for them, we are so caught up in each other we don't see whats happening in the world around us!" he's right i haven't even talked to zayn about why he left.. "haz i think we should take a break.."

"what! no no baby" i reach for him just like i did the day i left " we can work this out" i plea, I'm slowly breaking down, I'm letting down the wall i spent months putting up.

"one day i'll come into your world and get it right but now is not that day"

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HEYYYYYYYYYY so i finally got my iPad fixed so I'm back bitchess!!!!! but this sadly was the last chapter which is really depressing because I've been writing this for 10 months! but THERE IS A SEQUEL ill let you know when its coming out love you guys thanks for the support!- love harryxoxlouis