IF WE CLASH

Chapter21#: No Deliverance.

I didn't go to sleep last night. No, unfortunately I was awake all night. I got out the tub and walked into the my room and grabbed my small spell book or "parting gift" which were you prefer to call it and I walked down stairs and looked or my keys eventually finding them. I took the advantage of no one being home and got in my car after getting my bags and I went home. To my house.

I pulled into my drive way. And my house was trashed. Trashed all to hell. Nothing remained. Not even my white fences. It was burned down. Down to the ground. I did a donut and hauled holy ass home. Madder than life.
I failed my moms number.

"Mom! What happen to my house?!" I said yelling
"A fire dear." She said in a tragic tone
"My stuff?" I asked
"Oh it's all in the shed your dad bought begin the house." She said
"All of it?" I asked
"Yes. We took it out, in scale albums like that happen because we smelled gas badly so we packed before the accident and two days before Aden left it caught fire. And burned to hell." She said

That was my cue. Aden burned my house.

"Camille, sweetie?" Mom said
"Yeah?" I said
"Answer at least one of Adens calls." Mom said sighing." Please? For me. Or for yourself." Mom said and hung up.

Just a few minutes after her telling me to answer his calls . I was receiving one. I waited a few minutes and let it ring. And did not answer it. My anger was over flowing me. I sighed. He'd already Called ten times. When I thought he was done he called an eleventh time. I sighed and and answered It.

"Hello?" He said his voice a little excited
"What?" My voice was violent
"I um... I'm... How are you?" He asked
"....." I said nothing
"Um uh... I heard you was feeling better... Right?" He asked
I said nothing
"I um... Did you get my box?" He asked
"Mhm." I said low
"Oh. Um that's good right?" He asked
"If you were going to leave me dry, id rather you done without sympathy so that when I we find you for your last breath oh and your family that you didn't leave me any grace in the heart I used to have." I said
"Camille I lov-" he said I ended the call.

I Turned off my phone and went home. To my mothers house. Not knowing what to do. I dressed for work and on I went. Carlisle works in the same hosptial I do so when he saw me pass in the hall with my head down he called my name but I did not answer. .

They were surprised to have me back so early. And very eager and happy with  open arms. They moved my position up. So now my job paid more. But every dollar in went my bank. When was the hole in my mattress....

Day by day passed. Without reason. Without changing.
No dinner, no sleep, no lunch, no breakfast. No ease, no comfort and no deliverance....

The God of grave showed me no mercy.

Am I standing here, or am I just dead?
Am I so full of fear, I lost myself instead?

Am I a nobody, that you can't defend me?
OR
Am I just invisible, and you really don't pretend.

Am I blind, or I just don't wish to see?
The love I cannot find is right in front of me!

Am I hearing the truth,
Or have I just been deceived ?
Who can I trust?
Who can I believe ?

Am I so ma I just can't understand ,
Or am I so sad I need a shoulder and a friend?

Is it just me,
Or am I all alone?

When people died in the hospital I felt less passionate about it. Less hurt... It was like I expected it....
Am I losing myself?
I thought.
Well I often aske myself that.
I'm I so gone, that I don't care about life nor death?
Perhaps...
But this world has made me deaf...