Facts About MOI!!

"The first day I cut..."

I was in grade eight, which means last year. It happened on June. 11/ 2015. I have a journal I wrote everything in back then. I still have it. And this had made it in that journal.

I had gym that day, and the teacher split the gym in two halves. One for basketball, and the other was for dodgeball. I didn't like dodgeball. So I got a basketball, and started shooting at the net. But all the others wanted to play a game. So this girl told me to get off the court. I said no. I disliked her so much, she's a bitch. I wasn't going to leave I want to play too, I'm allowed. We can share the court. They're not going to fucking die.

But she kept telling me to go away. I didn't care, she didn't hurt me. Because I simply didn't give a shit about what she said. But then the guy I like told me to go. I don't know what happened. I just broke. I looked at him, and walked away. I put the basketball back. My teacher told me I can play on the other side, but I shook my head. I didn't want to. I didn't say anything because I was already on the verge of crying.

I went into the girls change room. There were benches against the walls. In the middle there was like two benches: one near the floor, and the other one closer to the ceiling. Kind of like a bunk bed, but a bunk bench if that makes any sense. When I got in the change room, I let my tears flow. I was crying over something stupid. But it still hurt, a lot. I walked to the bunk benches in the middle, and climbed up on the top bench. I just sat there crying, and then I saw the girls phone. I contemplated whether I should break it or not. But I didn't, I wasn't going to stoop down to this bitches level. I'm a better person than she is.

I got off the top bench, and went in one of the corners. I calmed down my breathing. Then walked around looking for something to cut myself with. I didn't find anything so I hoisted myself up on the top bench, and lied down staring at the ceiling. I lifted up my left sleeve. I started scratching myself over and over again in the same spot until it started bleeding. I pulled my sleeve down, and just lay there, emotionless.

After a while I heard the gym teacher tell them to go change. I got down, and pulled the hoodie over my head covering my face. I grabbed my books, and left.