Chapter 8-
School has been crazy; homework every night and endless classwork. Andy has been working extra hard on the album. We've barely had any time together in weeks...
"Stay home today." Andy said rapping his arms around me in bed. "I can't I have work to get done." I said even though I moved closer to him. "You know I've missed you my lovely." He said as I put my head on his bare chest. "I've missed you too." I said closing my eyes. Letting sleep take me back...
"Ugh I shouldn't have stayed home." I said as I moved slowly towards the sounds of him played. "Yes you should have. You needed a break." He said sitting the guitar beside side him. I sat in his lap and contemplated if I should go back to sleep; that was against his plan. "Get dressed and look pretty." He said kissing my cheek as he walked into the bathroom. As I heard the shower being turned on I made my way back into the bed room and picked out comfy clothes. I ended up wearing a black hoodie that stated mischief managed, black leggings, and my combat boots. I put on a thin line of eye liner and a light coat of mascara; I pulled up my hair into a high pony tail and crawled into bed until Andy was ready to go. "This is me being pretty. Take it or leave it." I said cuddled up into the blanket. "Come on put this on." He said handing me a blindfold. "This better not be a weird sexual thing!" I said as he led me away.
"Are we almost there?" I asked after 20 minutes in the car and only hearing car horns. "Shh!" he said yet again making me roll my eyes under the blindfold. "Come on!" I said shaking my foot impatiently. "Are you done?" he asked as we pulled to a stop. "Maybe." I said with a small smile. "You can take it off now." He said lighting up a smoke. I took it off and saw we were in a parking garage. "Ok where are we?" I asked now slightly annoyed. "You'll see." He said laughing at my misery. "Have I told you I hated you?" I asked as he led the way to the still unknown place. "Yes you have." He said winking at me. We ended up in an elevator on the 26 floor. "Close your eyes." He said as he put his hands over my eyes. "I still hate you." I said as I nearly tripped on my own foot. He kissed me on the cheek and led me towards the darkness. He sat me down on the bed and still didn't let me see anything. "Ok yeah turn it on." Andy said. "You got it." I heard a guy say. Then I heard it; the whole reason why he brought me here. It was a soft melody...then I heard the words.
I open my lungs dear
I sing this song at funerals... no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
A baby boy you've held so tightly,
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.
I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.
A universe so still.
No rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, and I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.
"Do you like it?" he asked as he finally let me see where we were. We were his recording studio with the drummer CC. I tried to say yes but the words wouldn't come out; that's when I realized I was crying. "What's wrong?" he asked as CC looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. "That was about me?" I asked wiping my tears away. "Of course babe." He said so calmly getting down to my eye level. "That was the cutest thing ever!" I said as another round of tears started to form. "So they really do cry when they're happy." CC said in amazement. Andy looked like he was about to kill him until I started laughing. "You're an asshole CC!" I said still laughing. "That's why she calls you the gay best friend." Andy said putting an arm around him. "Wait what?" CC responded as me and Andy left.
"So do you really like it?" he asked as we were seated at his favorite, hole-in-the-wall, pizza joint. "Well duh!" I said sticking my tongue out at him. "You don't like being serious do you?" Andy said cocking his head to the side almost like he was trying to see through me. "No not really." I said my jaw clinched as I avoided his eyes by looking at my menu. "Why is that?" he asked not noticing, or not caring, what this was doing to me. "Because I wasn't allowed to joke at all before...well before you." I said my knees slightly shaking. I hated talking about anything that was before Andy; Andy was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I'm more than grateful for him. "It's ok to be serious you know." He said taking my chin softly in his hand and turning it so I could see him. "Yeah I know...can we order now?" I asked as a small knot formed in my stomach. The darkness almost summoning me to it again...
"Jess can I ask you something?" he asked as I took off my clothes to get in the shower. "anything." I breathed as I rapped a towel around me. "Are you happy?" His words struck home, literally, but I nodded and kissed him softly and skipped off to my shower.
The steam rose around me and the scars that were almost blended with my skin sown red in the hard water. I felt almost light headed everytime I saw them; and always wondered how he never saw them or never said anything about them.
I heard the bathroom door open and saw Andy stepping in. "what are you doing?" I asked wrapping my arms around my chest. He smiled knowingly at me and wrapped his arms around me..
That's why...he loved me...
