Published: June 21st, 2016.
"This is the penis and this is how it's," our sex ed. demonstrator puts the condom on the so-called penis (banana) and I could hear a few students in the way back snicker.
"Grow up." I silently whisper and roll my eyes. History teacher is still out so the school decided to take advantage of the free class period to teach us students a thing or two about sex. Hahaha.
"put on. Now, you have to make sure you have the correct size or-"
"How do you know when she's enjoying it?" Brendon whispers to me.
"Um. You ask her? Duh!" I joke to him.
"Oh come on, I heard lots of girls fake it. Do you think they fake it with me? Hm, maybe not the more I think about it. Do girls really fake it?" He keeps rambling for a bit. "Did you fake it?"
"With Adam? Faaaake?" I think about it for a bit, "Nope. It was all real, but a one time thing." Adam. My first love. We were in love. The good, healthy in love. Not the type half the school has. But things happened and he had to move away. Cliché really. But we both did NOT like the idea of long-distance. So the night before his departure, we made sweet fucking love.
Hmm.
"You still talk to him?" Adam was the only boyfriend Brendon approved and really liked for me.
"The occasional Happy New Year's, Fourth of July, Good Birthday text. But we're over." Adam even learned Spanish to talk to my dad fluently. It was hilarious to watch, but adorable. "And he still doesn't know about the accident and he doesn't have to so zip it."
"Okay. Back to the sex, how do I know-"
"Don't worry. You know when she knows. And if you worry, you get blue balls." I mess with him.
"WHAT." His whisper game still strong.
"Shhhhh." I put my index to my lips and he listens. We keep watching the cringe worthy demonstration from the most awkward demonstrator ever.
After the very mature-thought presentation is over, we all get free condoms! Brendon pokes my back so I turn around, "hey, Darce." He giggles.
"Ohmygod!"
He managed to get the condom on around his big forehead covering his brows and full head of hair, like a beanie.
"Will you have the sex with me." He kneels down like he were to propose, curtseys, and bows his head dramatically. I can't help it, I laugh like a maniac. On drugs.
"Get up! Come on. People are starin!" I start pulling on his extended arm, good thing he's light as my patience. "Now get that thing off." But he can't. After a while I step in and the class bell rings.
"Ow, hold on, hold on. Ok, go!" A fella named Jason and I start pulling the thing off, but no avail. The stretched rubber just pulls on his skin, probably making it burn if we keep going. Brendon whimpers in frustration. Brendon, the only guy to ever whimper in frustration.
"What's going on?" I know that voice. Uh oh. And I'm late. Both Jason and I have Robotics together. I hide my face with my hair as I keep trying to free Brendon. Maybe there's some lube with the sex ed demonstrator that we can use. She isn't here, she probably stepped out.
"I uh, I was fake sex proposing, and uh, I, well. I thought that it, uh, be funn- I'm stuck." He finally finishes.
"I'm very sure you were suppose to learn how and where to put that today."
I smile, biting the inside of my cheek to keep me from laughing out loud and I hear Jason next to me doing the same.
I look up and see Mr. Collins carefully using a stencil from our class to slightly pierce a bit from a safe area of his head. Not breaking a sweat while Brendon definitely does. Natural lube right there! He works his magic and Brendon is free.
We all let out a breathe and I laugh, again, at Brendon mostly.
Walking to class, I realize how late Jason and I are so I walk towards Mr. Collins. "I'm so sorry for being tardy. Brendon, as you witnessed, had us a bit preoccupied."
"No need to apologize, it happens."
"Did you really set out to look for us?"
"Well, two students in a class of five were not present. That's 40% of my class. I'd usually notify security but I knew you two wouldn't be doing something drastic." He chuckles and Jason joins in.
"It's not like we'll be behind. A-and sorry for being late." Ahh, nerds apologizing for being late.
Oh lordy, thoughts?
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Stupid | Misha Collins | Teacher/student
Humor"It doesn't matter. Age is just a number, Miss Darcy." He advances to me, closing the gap with his body. Taking a strand of my hair. "It does when that number is your student! What the hell, this shit is illegal!" - Its Darcy's first day since her a...
