Wedding Special

Chapter Four

4 - Annie P.O.V.

Jason was slowly driving me crazy. He strutted around his apartment wearing no shirt ninety percent of the time and I just knew that it was to try to tempt me. He touched me whenever he could too and all that served to do was constantly heat me up. I knew they were technically innocent touches, but his fingers seemed to burn my skin anywhere they touched. It was insane. I'd never been like this before and I wondered what it was about Jason that made me behave this way. I'd always thought he was good looking, but I never dreamed he would look at me as anything but a little sister figure. Then he had kissed me at Drew's wedding. That was all it took and I was hooked.

I knew coming to New York City to stay with him would be a huge risk, but I'd felt thrills racing up and down my spine at the thought. I wasn't a little girl anymore and Jason had taken notice of that. I almost felt powerful at the thought, but he hadn't done anything inappropriate since that first day when he had tackled me to the bed. I had been so embarrassed that he could make me respond so easily and I'd needed a minute to gather myself. If I was being honest with myself, I wanted to know what it would be like to go to bed with Jason Harris. The way my body responded to him I bet we would be combustible.

My one sexual experience hadn't been great. Vince Auburn was the "it" guy at Abilene High and I'd been incredibly flattered when he began to notice me. If only I'd known what kind of guy he truly was, then I never would have agreed to go out with him. I'd been blinded by his good looks and false charm. After only a month of dating, we went to a New Year's Eve party and he'd talked me right out of my panties. When he'd climbed on top of me and did his thing, it had hurt, but it was over quickly and then he'd gone right back to drinking. It had been nothing special for either of us and I'd been incredibly saddened by that fact. He'd taken my virginity, but it had just been another day to him. So when he broke up with me the following day, I couldn't say that I was heartbroken. I was more disappointed that I'd let him talk me into giving him something I could never get back.

A few weeks later, I had realized that I hadn't started my period. I gave it another week and then drove two towns over to buy several over-the-counter pregnancy tests. I hadn't wanted anyone in Abilene to see me because word would get around quickly. That's the trouble with small towns. Everyone knows everyone and everyone tries to get into everyone else's business. I'd gone into the bathroom at the store and taken a test. It instantly showed positive. I had stared at that stick for an hour before it had finally sunk in that I was pregnant. Then I'd emptied the contents of my stomach, as I had suddenly felt sick.

I had been sick at the thought of being connected to Vince Auburn for the rest of my life, but quickly squashed that fear upon realizing that Vince wouldn't want to be involved. Sex was a game to him. He'd started dating another girl, right after breaking up with me. I tried to warn her about him, but she accused me of being a jealous ex-girlfriend. I knew she would have to discover the truth for herself. I hated that I couldn't save her the heartache, but I'd tried and knew she would never believe me.

So there I was, alone and pregnant. I'd barely begun to consider my options when I began to bleed, during the night, a couple days later. I'd called the hospital and explained what was happening. They told me that I was miscarrying and recommended I come in, but they apparently could tell that I didn't want to do that. I couldn't risk anyone I knew finding out. So they'd given me instructions to follow so I could stay at home and they'd asked if anyone was there with me. I'd lied and said yes, because I couldn't risk them sending an ambulance or anything if I told the truth. The miscarriage was pure hell and at one point, while lying on my bathroom floor, I had actually wanted to die, right along with my baby.

Once it was all over and days passed, I really began to recover. I was pretty withdrawn at school but had come to terms with what happened. God apparently knew that I couldn't handle a pregnancy just then and he took care of everything for me. I was still, to this day, saddened by the loss of my child, but I knew that I wouldn't have been able to give him or her a good life. I'd picked up some adoption pamphlets the morning before my miscarriage. I knew it would be hard to do, but I knew it would be the right thing to do. Apparently, God didn't think I could handle something like that and took the situation out of my hands.