Touch & Go

17. Lego House

Dedicated to everyone out there who hopes it will all be okay, someday.

~~~

"And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before."

- Ed Sheeran, Lego House

~~~

August 15th, 2018

Easier. Happier. Brighter

I now found my days to be easier, happier and brighter. It was too easy to fall into a routine. We'd watch the sunrise from my dorm room's window every morning, and then walk to Drew's Brews for early breakfast. With a novel each, we'd sit under our tree in the campus grounds; reading silently with our bodies leaning on each other's.

After pigging out an entire tray of English breakfast (thank god for baked beans and toast), I'd make a bee line for the library to continue research on my thesis. I had no idea what Theodore did meanwhile. I'd only see him in the afternoon then, when he'd show up at the library with a warm cup of Starbucks latte and a banana muffin.

Everyday trivialities were discussed over lunch, succeeded by long walks in the evening to nowhere in particular. By dinner, we'd be back in the dorm room with takeout boxes. As the moon would rise in the sky every night, our conversations would deepen substantially. From talks of Hamley's and the Backyardigans, we'd move to questions of integrity, morality and every other conflicted human emotion.

I knew for a fact that all this was only possible with Theodore. Even Drew and Em didn't know every thought that ran through my head. I couldn't discuss with them the often occurring thoughts of (as Ayn Rand puts it) "pretzel-psychology", but with Theo, I could. I didn't have to care if he understood or if he agreed, but the way he'd listen to every word I'd say made me feel at ease.

"You live too much in your head, Iris."

"You don't say it like it's a bad thing."

"It isn't. I like that about you. The way you tilt your head sideways and focus on something distant, thinking of god knows what. The way your lip curls in disgust or how your eyebrows rise amusedly. You're unprecedented."

"You make me sound like a complicated character of genius."

"You make yourself think that you're not."

"I've missed you, Theodore."

He smiled at me in that very Theodore way; making my insides melt. His hand held the side of my face as his lips met mine in a slow yet deep kiss.

"Time to go to bed, monkey" I laughed too hard at that.

"Thought you'd forgotten."

"Never." He grinned and kissed my forehead goodnight.

~~~

I woke up to a drooling Theodore next to me. His features were all scrunched up in a worrisome expression. I looked at him for a long while, as if memorising a painting of sorts. Involuntarily, my fingers reached out to straighten the worried lines of his forehead, stirring him awake.

His eyes took a moment to focus on me. He then stretched his limbs and looked at me.

"Good morning." I ruffled his hair playfully and got out of bed.

"What's got you so chirpy?" He asked sleepily.

"The morning sun."

I realized I was most in love in the mornings. The problems seemed to have taken a backseat and before the world was awake and bustling, I could appreciate the littlest of things. Squirrels and birds were like those from the Disney movies, the crunching of fallen leaves beneath my feet much clearer. The twilight hues had always reached out to me; like a calling from the skies above. It made me feel like a speck of dust. And I loved it.

I reached for my diary and a pencil and headed out; Theo followed silently.

"To anywhere in particular?" he asked as he steadied his footing after catching up to me.

"No. Just nowhere."

I quiet loved nowhere. Where nobody knew my name. Where nobody was aware of my motives. Where the only interaction between two strangers was a smile. Where there were no expectations. Where I could find my own space.

I had come to notice that before I moved to Vienna. Everywhere I went was closely related to Gracie. Everybody knew me and everybody just assumed I was a replica of her. Grace was the opposite of me on the outside; a charming smile, a welcoming posture, a confident stride.

I lived most of my moments in my head. I was the kind of person who you'd overlook in a crowd; not because I'd blend in but because I was more comfortable that way. Interactions always seemed to stress me out; not only in an introverted way but in that "I can't fight your unreasonable opinions with reason" kind of way. There was a major gap in the thinking and working of our heads and that only drove me away from people.

I didn't hate people. I didn't hate individuality either. I just wasn't in sync with the way they reasoned with life. And it was best if I kept to myself.

"How did you find me here?" The question had irked me for a long time now.

"Adam." Theo looked at me briefly, examining my reaction. There was no reaction.

I waited for him to continue, and he did.

"He came here on vacation. A Germany-Austria-France trip with his fiancée. Yeah, Adam swears he can't live without her. Anyway, he spotted you trying to pet a kitten outside the café. Clicked a picture of you in that yellow dress of yours and sent it my way. I didn't have to think twice. I wanted to see you, Iris. I just wanted to see you, even if it was from afar. I looked for you for a couple of days. Not inquiring around like that, just looking. I'd roam the streets, looking at the balconies, hoping to see you standing there in that exquisite grace with which you carry yourself." I laughed a bit.

"It is Juliet's city."

"True. Then I saw you one day, dodging people on the sidewalk with your eyes trained on the flapping pages of your novel. You didn't give a care if you ran into people, just mumbled an apology under your breath and continued walking. When you entered that café, it all made sense. A café. Of course. It's your natural habitat."

"You never explained your sore eye and split lip. Walked into a wall, Theodore?"

"I got into a fight." He looked down, emotionlessly.

"With a pole?" I tried keeping it light-hearted.

"With Drew."

~~~

Major time shift coming next chapter.

sorry.

love, sirrah.