" i want to forget. let me forget. stop haunting me. "
porque by maldita
•••••
CYD
Ayaw ko na. Suko na ako.
~~~~~
Cyd was drunk. Yes, she was drunk off her ass in some cheap bar near her house, with her friends. Honestly, di alam ni Cyd how she got here. All she knows is that she wanted to have a good time and just forget everything right now.
Cyd was by the bar, downing her 6th or maybe 7th bottle of tequila. She doesn't know. She doesn't want to know.
" Ma'am, lasing na po ata kayo. Baka, sobra na po. " the barista told her as she ordered another.
Cyd just rolled her eyes and pulled out some bills and slapped it on the table. She was irritated. Ang ingay na nga, eto pang si kuya, aangal pa.
" Kuya, wag mo na labanan ang isang pusong sawi. " She slurred out.
The guy eyed her cautiously. And reluctanly gave her the glass she was asking for her.
" Pero, baka po kas- "
" Kuya, naranasan mo na ba wasak ang puso mo? " She asked after drinking her body. Bakit ba kasi siya iniwan ng mga kaibigan niya? Bakit ba kasi siya palaging iniiwan.
" Uh, hindi po. Ba- "
" Masakit, kuya. Saksakan ng sakit. " Cyd said as she started to laugh idiotically.
" Di ko nga alam kung bakit deserve ko masaktan. Ginawa ko naman lahat, hindi ba? Minahal ko naman siya. Lahat lahat binigay ko. Ano pa ba kulang? " Cyd asked the barista as she closed her eyes frustratedly.
Eto nanaman si Cyd. Nag mumuni muni. Tinatanong kung bakit siya pa ang napiling gustuhan.
" Baka po kasi, maybe, yung lahat lahat mo, hindi enough. " The barista said after a moment of silence.
Napa tunganga si Cyd sa sinabi nung kuya. The barista left her, sitting there. She was alone in the bar. Most of the people were dancing, including her friends. Cyd was drained.
Baka kasi kulang pa.
Wow. Grabe naman kung kulang kulang pa yung binigay ni Cyd. Halos buong buhay niya binigay niya sa kanya. Most of her time wasn't even for herself anymore. Most of the time, she makes sure that she gives love. Bakit ganito?
Fuck, Cyd thought. She was hurting all over again. Ganun lang ba kabilis itapon ang limang taon nilang pag sasama? Ganun na lang ba? Ganun ba kabilis palitan si Cyd?
" Cyd, usap tayo. "
Cyd looked up from her paper works as she nodded. She stood up from her work table and headed towards her girlfriend, who was sitting on their bed and was facing the floor. Lately, her girlfriend has been distant. Di man lang alam ni Cyd ang problema. It was like they were strangers with each other.
Cyd sat beside her as she tapped her shoulder.
" Oh, ano meron? "
Her girlfriend shook her head as she looked up from Cyd. Her eyes held no emotions at all.
" Cyd, sorry. " she whispered.
