Just A Ghost

4

I was forcefully awaken by shaking and loud, yet happy screaming. Alix peeked into my bunk. "We are here" he laughed. "We let you sleep past VIP but it's concert time now." He grabbed my hand and helped me out of bed. "Her Bright Skies just went on, we are coming up soon, let's get ready."

I stumbled sleepily over to the bathroom and worked in fixing my hair. It was a lost cause, through the past few days it had gotten so ratted and frizzy. I threw it into a messy bun. Alix was sitting on the couch as I walked out. "Let's go" he took my hand and led me into the venue.

It was a better venue than the one I had gone to in Minnesota, but it didn't matter. I hung out in the back by Bryan. "Don't start thinking we are friends"

"I wasn't thinking that" I said honestly.

"You're just a distraction for these guys, they are destined for greatness and you are holding them back" he said as he left to go up on stage.

I cross my arms and leaned against the wall. Bryan didn't like me, not much of a surprise really, if you weren't famous he didn't treat you too well. I watched as he spoke on stage. The way he held himself seemed to be above everyone else. He looked at the crowd with an underlying look of disgust. But nobody seemed to notice, they just saw his forced smile and pretty boy face. I had seen him that way at first, when I would sit alone at home watching his interviews, when his jokes were all that kept me smiling, but now I see the true him, and it isn't all that great. I shrugged off the thoughts, I had no right to be judging him the way I am, I don't know what he's been through, maybe he's had a bad experience with a fangirl. I don't know but I do know how much it hurts to be judged for who you are.

That's why I got into Ghost Town in the first place. Their music was easy to relate to. It gave a positive message in a realistic way, they showed their fans that they are not alone and other people go through hell too, including Kevin himself. They weren't a band that focused on money or making it big, they focus on their fans and their music. They were all so down to earth and calm. I cherished that about them.

Bryan must've thought I was changing them somehow. It's the only logical explanation to why he treated me different. But then again I had given up on relying on logical explanations, a logical explanation for Sophia leaving was because she needed to get away, but I knew that wasn't her reason, she had lost common sense. Otherwise she would've brought be with. I was selfish. I'd rather have my sister save me than her be happy, I'd rather stay with a ghost Town than have them get more recognition. I snuck into the bathroom and locked the door. No wonder everyone hated me, I was a selfish loser.

I dug deep into my pockets and took out a small but sharp razor blade. I looked in the mirror at myself. My hair was a disaster and my deep brown roots were coming in. My make up was running down my face. I wiped it off with my arm and stared at my blade. I was wearing a t-shirt, I couldn't cut where they would see, it had to be an easy place to hide. I pulled up my shirt and pressed the blade into the side of my stomach. My teeth began to grind as I pressed the blade in deeper. As soon as I felt blood drip down my pants leg I regretted it. I pulled down my shirt and worked on getting the crimson red blood off my black jeans. I grabbed a paper towel and gently dabbed at it, making a dark wet spot on the side of my leg that luckily my shirt covered.

I left the bathroom in a stumble, limping due to my cut open hip. My boys were still on stage, sweating and screaming with huge smiles on their face. The concert played out much like it had back in Minnesota. I gently rested my hand on my hip as I leaned against the wall again. I watched as Bryan slowly made his way over, as though he didn't want me to notice. "Where were you?" He asked with a look of worry on his face.

"Just needed to get away from the crowds" It wasn't a complete lie.

"You had me worried" he crossed his arms and leaned beside me. "Can I ask why you were limping a minute ago?"

"I was limping?" I laughed and attempted to stand straight. "See just fine"

"Let's keep it that way, I know they would be in ruins if something happened to you" he smiled, although this time it seemed sincere. "I'd be pretty upset too"

"And here I thought you hated me" I laughed hesitantly.

"I don't hate you, and I didn't, I'm just under a lot of stress, but hey we get a break now for a few days, Ghost Town, you and me are going to a camp ground while the others head straight to Denver." Without warning Bryan picked me up and carried me through the crowd and onto the stage. As the song stopped playing he handed me to Kevin who refused to put me down. I stared at Kevin's eyes as Bryan spoke. I wasn't listening at all. Kevin's eyes shone back into mine and I couldn't help but smile. Kevin brushed my hair from my face as he smiled back.

"Yoohoo Kevin" Bryan said and the crowd laughed.

"One more second" Kevin held up his hand and didn't look away from me. He turned, set me down, and quickly kissed my lips then turned back, grabbing the microphone and laughing.

My lips tingled, I stayed turned around and smiled like a crazy person. I nearly fainted as Bryan picked me up again. "Back to the back!" He laughed as he raced through the crowd. "Did Kevin kiss you?" He asked as he set me down gently, my leg nearly giving out. "Are you okay?"

"Fine" I pulled myself up on his arm. "And I think he did."

Bryan stared at me for a moment. "That fu-"

He was cut off by a girl asking for a picture. I laughed and leaned against the wall again with a smirk on my face. As soon as the girl left I spoke. "Where were you going with that?"

"Just maybe" he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. "I want you all to myself" he leaned in and kissed me. It was different from the one I had just received from Kevin. Both kisses were unique. Kevin's we delicate and quick, whereas Bryan's was more forceful and lasted longer. But both held feelings of powerful meanings behind them. As Bryan let go I stared up at him with my mouth gaped semi-open. My chest knotted up and my heart raced. For the second time I passed out at a Ghost Town concert.