Just A Ghost

10

"I brought friends!" I shouted as I opened the door.

"Maria!" Kevin's mother ran to hug me. "Kevin!" She hugged him next.

"Run into the back Maria I have talking with my mom to do quick, bring the boys with." Kevon told me as he hugged her back. "Hey mom."

I did as he said and walked to the rather large fenced in yard. I flipped a switch inside the door amd turned on a mess of Christmas lights that were intertwined into the wooden fence.

"It got prettier!" Alix gasped. "I didn't know that was possible." Him and Evan sat in two of the chairs on the porch.

I made my way to the trampoline that sat along side the fence. I climbed onto it with a bit of struggling, being short I probably could've used a ladder, but I made it. I bounced a bit before plopping down in the middle cross legged.

"Watch out." Manny ran up, attempting to jump on. It ended, not quite as he hoped, his torso and arms landed on the trampoline while his legs hug over the bar. He struggled almost as much as I did climbing on.

He jumped around me, causing me to bounce up and down as I sat. This would be he perfect time to do a flip, if I could do one that is. Instead of showing off I simply went from sitting to standing in one jump of his.

"Nice." He smiled. Him and I bounced in a circle, attempting to cross diagonally from time to time. It wasn't long before Alix plugged his phone into a portable speaker, causing music to flow through the yard.

"Watch out!" Kevin shouted. Manny and I moved to the side as Kevin jumped the trampoline as easily as he had the baracade.

"All to you." Manny smiled and gestured at me. He jumped off the trampoline and joined the others on the porch.

"I missed you." Kevin said as we jumped.

"I missed you more!" I joked like a child.

"You graduated?" He asked and I nodded. "And got a job, where at?"

"Grocery store, I'm just a cashier but it pays." I smiled and plopped into a sitting position. Kevin joined me. "How was tour?"

"So tiering."he layed down and pulled me into his arms. We were silent as we watched the stars, there was an occasional flicker of fireflies that I would reach out for even though I knew they were too far away.

Kevin began naming off star consolations as we laid on the trampoline. I didn't know if he was right or wrong but either way it fascinated me. His arm wrapped tight around me as the wind began to pick up.

Here was a light tapping at the sliding door that caused the boys on the porch to jump. "Sorry to interrupt." Bryan yawned. "But I'm going home now, but first I'd like to talk to Maria if that's okay?"

"Sure." I gave Kevin a quick kiss before climbing off the trampoline. The grass was wet with dew below my bare feet. I trekked over to Bryan and stepped inside.

He slide the blinds shut and pushed me against the wall. I struggled for an instant but gave in to his gentle kiss. As he pulled away I was full of anger and lust. "Maria I-" he began but I pulled him towards me and kissed him again. He didn't refuse. Bryan placed his hands on my hips and pressed himself closer against me. I tangled my hands in his hair and let myself melt into the kiss. As we separated he looked at me with guilt. "We tell no one."

I nodded. "Goodbye Bryan."

"You got my number." He smiled and wiped my lipstick off of him with the back of his hand. "Keep in touch." He hugged me and quickly ran off.

I stood alone on the room. What had I just done? I stared blankly at the wall until I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Alix behind me. "Alix!" I jumped. "You scared me." I forced a laugh.

"Bryan? Really?" He gave me a threatening glare. "All the people here to have a make out feast with and you choose him?"

"Oh my god." I breathed deeply. "Please don't tell Kevin!"

"Kevin's my best friend, and you're dating him, and doing god know what with Bryan-"

"It was only kissing!" I pleaded.

"So?" He crossed his arms.

"Alix please!" I could feel tears coming to my eyes.

"Come here." He said softly and held out his arms. I was hesitant but I ran into them and let him embrace me. "You don't need to cry." He rubbed my back. "I was only jealous that's all."

"Je-jealous?" I stuttered.

"Of course." He lifted my head up and looked deeply into my eyes. "I wanted that to be me, or I want Kevin to be me, I want to be with you." I was silent. "I like you Maria." He lifted up my chin and kissed me gently. "I like you a lot."

"Alix please-"

"Don't worry." He took my hand in his. "I won't make you do anything. I just want you to know that I'm an option too."

I nodded. "Can I please go back to Kevin now?"

He wiped my tears with his thumb. "Of course."

Alix opened the door for me and I slowly rejoined Kevin on the trampoline. We laid in silence. Him relaxed, and me ashamed. "do you mind if I go shower?" I asked at last.

"I'm getting bitten like crazy." He laughed. "It's a good time to go inside." He helped me off and walked me to the door where the others had fallen asleep in their chairs. "Feel free to come in to bed with me when your done." The clock on the wall said it was nearly four a.m.

I locked the bathroom door and dug through drawers until I found a box of razors. I worked on removing the blades. I turned on the shower and sat on the base of the tub, a blade in my hand.

What the hell had I done? Bryan and Alix? It was only kissing though right? Still bad but not sex bad. I carved a few deep lines into my skin and watched at the blood washed down the drain.

"This is hurting Kevin" I heard Mannys haunting words in my mind.

"I already hurt him." I sobbed and began again.

On average a shower for me takes less than ten minutes. But I sat under the water until it became ice cold at full heat. When I got out I carefully patted at my carved skin. I decided to keep the blade in the pocket on my jeans. I slipped into sweatpants and a tank top and walked across the hall to Kevin's old room. He was already asleep in his bed. I crawled in with him and stared at the ceiling until I could see he sun peeking through the edges of the blinds. Slowly I let myself sleep.