Don't Forget To Breathe

Chapter 1

                 

I have spent most of my life in a never-ending expectancy.  Ever since I could remember I have been waiting. But, I don't know what for. I feel like when I was a kid I waited to be a teenager because I thought all of my best memories would be created during that time. I thought I'd spend Friday nights partying and weekdays sneaking out of the house at night to go see my High School boyfriend, which I thought I would inevitably have. When I was a teenager I waited to be an adult because I felt I was too young to make any type of mark on the world. I thought that by the time I finished college I would have changed lives already, maybe not making an impact on the global scale but at least in a single persons life. Not only was that ideal a failure but it's something I don't think I'll ever get the chance to do. Now I am an adult but I am still waiting for something better.

Don't get me wrong, I've lived a decent life. I have a family who loves me, I went to a good college, I have a well paying job and I live in what I consider to be the greatest city in the world; New York is constantly buzzing with life and it's mesmerizing to watch. I also have a beautiful girlfriend who I care for deeply. I don't have a bad life, but I'm still waiting. It's almost like I miss someone I've never met, or maybe like I need someone who doesn't need me back.

I keep setting goals for myself, hoping that when I reach them I can find whatever I am looking for, but every time I reach one of them it doesn't seem to take away that feeling of expectancy. Like there must be something more out there and the worst part is feeling like it's starring me right in the face but I just can't see it.

"Lauren you only have fifteen minutes left darling"

I look back at my girlfriend surprised to find her dressed up in a tight fitting blue dress with her light brown hair cascading over her shoulders. Her face is made and I wonder how she managed to do that if I started doing mine before her. She's always been so much better then me when it comes to cosmetics. 

"Okay, thanks babe" I say and look back at the mirror in front of me to continue doing my make up.

My lips part only slightly as I apply my mascara and I can feel Alycia's eyes on me as I do so. I could feel her walking closer until she was leaning against the counter with a devilish smile on her lips, and I wondered what on earth she was up to.

"May I help you?" I ask playfully.

Without a word she shrugs and holds on to my face planting a smooch on my cheek with an obnoxious smacking sound as she runs away with a giggle.

"Oh come on Alycia!" I yell as I look at the red lipstick stain she's now left on my cheek. I try not to smile but I can't help but be charmed by her childlike ways.

"Now I have to fix my face!" I yell trying to sound serious but a soft giggle erupted anyways.

I faintly hear her laugh from afar as I focus once again on the task at hand, knowing I'd have to fix the mess she made.

Once I'm finished fixing my make-up after Alycia's vicious attack, I make my way to the kitchen to pour myself some coffee that I know is waiting for me.

Since we've been living together for almost a year now we have already developed a system and this is a part of it. She does this every morning, since we typically only have breakfast on weekends. However, on weekdays she makes coffee and leaves an apple for me to have on the way to work. I feel a pair of slim arms wrap around my waist from behind as I pour the coffee.

"Do you forgive me?" she asks, and I can only assume it is in reference to her destroying my make-up earlier as she rests her chin on my shoulder.