prism [ kim s.j ] ( fin )

† 53

     her giggles were intoxicating. intoxicated.

     "remember that time when uncle threw a medicine bottle to the wall? he scared me shitless!"

     "kyu, what did i tell you abo—"

     "he didn't want me to give up, but he gave up on me early! the nerve of that old man! he died nicely though — he looks so peaceful when i saw him. he was meant to go to heaven, sleeping... he left me here at hell though."

     "park soo kyu, i think you—"

     "uncle did that — throw bottle on walls — a lot though, so it was normal. he made sure there was enough money for my treatment, but he was annoyed at me. everyone was annoyed at me — the nurses, the doctors, my parents, even the guy that i told you about, remember ajusshi? they all hate me... you must hate me too..."

     "kyu, you need to stop an—"

     "karaoke!! ajusshi, let's sing karaoke!"

if we're born again, if we love again

let's not do this again

     the man glanced from time to time, wary of how long she's been drunk. she had too much gin — doesn't she hate gin? she likes vodka better, from what that huge guy told him.

let's meet a little less

let's hope a little less

let's not make many promises

     she was gliding, tumbling towards the floor. the man kept her steady, wires tangled underneath their ankles.

let's only make light memories that we can throw away

     soo kyu hiccuped, two, three, more. she laughed empty cries.

now i know that a love too deep

brings a sad ending

     her hands started to quiver, her throat, her lips.

my love, i'll pray for your next love

that it won't be like us, that it'll be without pain

     the long harmony that was wanted of her voice, a breakdown of sobs was thrown. that was her life — a breakdown of sobs, a mangle of notes, even though she tries to make perfect notes with her guitar.

please be happier than me

     "be happier than me, jin..."

     her head lulled to the man's shoulder, arms instinctively wrapped around her.

     "kyu," the man shook her awake. no response — her breathing was getting there. "kyu! ajusshi! ajusshi help!"

i hope the sky knows my heart

     no one bothered to finish the last note — it went to a perfect 100. no one congratulated. no one clapped. they stood by the sides, letting shakespeare shape the two bodies' lives like his works — starring real life romeo and juliet.

     "kyu for fuck's sake! don't leave! kyu! it's me jin! seokjin! i swear to god — "