Be My Eyes

17: Focus

Iona remained, a moping 16 year old girl, folded in her boyfriends arms as she imagined her life being dragged away from the place that she had grown to love.

Iona heard footsteps and her dad came in with a smile. "Good morning Mr Grey" Parker beamed when he entered.

"Good morning you two, How are you?"

"Fine" they both chorused in unison and Iona's dad nodded contentedly.

"Well i'm off to work now, i shouldnt be home too late" he chimed softly before leaving with a small nod to Parker and a simple wave to them both.

"Haven't you told him?" Parker asked, his tone serious as he looked down at Iona.

"No" she said, so quietly it was hardly the ghost of a whisper. "I...i can't!" Iona cried, suddenly flustered at the idea of telling him that his wife has just come back and wants to take her away from him. Iona sat up straight then and tried to tidy her long, messy hair in frustration. "What am i meant to say to him? This will crush him...oh god! Oh god can she really take me away? I dont want her to take me, i dont- i cant- i just-"

Iona was now frantically pacing the room, trying to breathe and speak and walk all at once. "I can't breathe." She ended up saying, as no air would move in or out of her lungs and her heart was pounding as if it were in her head. Everywhere was turning blurry fast and she began to heave, trying to get air to her lungs.

"Hey! Iona, calm down, just focus on my voice okay, focus on me" Parker's voice drifted to her from somewhere and she felt his hand on her back. He came to stand in front of her and sat her down slowly on the bed, still heaving and making whimpering sounds.

"Hey, look at me. I'm right here, you can do this. Just close your eyes and focus on what you feel"

Iona nodded pathetically and closed her eyes, her chest burning, and she did as she was told.

She felt both Parker's hands around her shoulders and she felt them trace her back slowly, down and then up, placing more pressure onto her back as if to force her lungs open. His hands fell down softly to her hips and Iona felt tingly all over as she focused on him. He heald her hips for a moment and ran his hands up her sides and along her neck slowly, then into her hair. Next he was leaning in, she knew because she felt his warm breath on her skin and he planted a gentle kiss on her neck, then another.

His lips finally landed on her own and she kissed him, bringing her shaking hands up to his neck and then she opened her eyes. Her breathing had slowed tremendously and the burning had stopped. Her cheeks were wet from her tears but she had calmed down. She let her head fall forwards onto Parker's shoulder, this wasnt the first time he'd dealt with one of her panic attacks and she didnt know what she would do without him.

After Parker received one angry text message from his mother who had just come home from a night shift to find him gone, Parker hurried off home with several apologies but Iona understood and let him go.

She felt empty again now she was alone and didnt know what to do with herself. She found herself contradicting her previous thought and started wishing she was at college, where she could distract herself but all day she was jumpy at any sound, awaiting her mother to come back.

When she got a text message she almost screamed then mentally kicked herself for being so pathetic but when she looked down the fear returned.

The message read "I will collect you soon. You will be mine again."

Iona threw her phone accross the room with a small intake of breath. She ran her hands through her hair, pulling at her head in frustration. Her mum was mad!

She didnt know what to do! She picked up her phone again and called her dad. In a panicky voice she told him everything.

He came home at once and greeted her with a shakey hug although his face was set in a hard expression that Iona had never seen on her dad's face before.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly and Iona nodded, but that was far from the truth.

"C-can she take me?" Iona mumbled, staring at the door.

"No...no of course she can't" her dad insisted but even he sounded doubtful.

They both sat in silence as though waiting for something and as if the summer weather could sense their moods, it began to rain, hard.

In a way they were waiting, waiting for her. Iona felt confused along side everything else, she felt like she was a piece in a puzzle without a place to fit in.

"Dad...why did mum leave in the first place?" Iona asked, the question that had been looming between them for nearly two years.

He seemed to hesitate before answering with a sigh "your mother and I, hadnt been on good 'terms' for a while. I was never earning enough money and she was always spending our money carelessly. That night she left, she said she couldnt bare to look at me because i had ruined the family...it was my fault" he said slowly and quietly but Iona was not satisfied.

"It wasn't you're fault! It was hers, if she was the one spending all the money"

"But-"

"But nothing! You stayed!" Iona stated defiantly and her dad smiled appreciatively . She wasnt surprised it had come down to money but it still annoyed her.

When the dreaded knock at the door came Iona's dad slowly made his way to open it. Iona listened carefully.

Her mothers voice came first "Harry."

Then her dad's "Camilla!" He said with just as much distatse as her mum.

"Care to come in?" He said curtly and Iona heard their footsteps as they came into the living room, her mum speaking now.

"I must say i am surprised you are here!" She said in an accusatory tone that sent anger surging through Iona's veins.

"Im sorry to dissapoint you. I am afraid to say i am not off shopping and spending all our money" Iona's dad snapped bitterly and Iona knew they had both stopped walking, she slumped further down the sofa and didnt dare turn around.

"Well at least i had the money to spend!" Exclaimed Iona's mother.

"We didnt have the money to spend you selfish brat!" Harry cried, his tone surprising Iona yet filling her with pride.

"Excuse me! At least I care enough to keep my temper in the presense of our daughter! You were the one who started the yelling that night!" Camilla said sourly.

"Only because you gave me reason to with your unreasonable accusations!" Harry cried, causing Camilla to huff indignantly.

"I can give her a better life and you know it! Look at you, look at this house!" She snorted and Iona clenched her fists. She knew they had moved over to the kitchen.

"You are the one who abandoned her!" Her dad cried in frustration but she could sense that he was trying to keep his voice down. Iona was fed up with this and couldnt stand being spoken about as if she werent in the room so she got up and ran out into the rain and onto the street, she didnt look back and just kept running. She ran, right into the road...