29. What If

170 6 2
                                    

Iona peeled away the covers and snuck out of the unfamiliar bed as quietly as she could, cringing as she looked back at the guy from last night.

He was fast asleep...and snoring. Iona kicked herself for waking up like this again. She was afraid it was becoming a bit of a habbit. Though she had started to drink more and go out partying, she tried to stay away from the one night stands - which wasnt always possible under the influence of alcohol - so she didnt end up waking to this...

Iona gathered her clothes and pulled them on as quietly as she could, feeling dirty and ashamed, flinching every time the guy moved - whatever his name was.

She tip-toed out of his room, the sudden realisation dawning on her that, she was in his house! She only hoped it was close to home. Sadly she was not in luck, as she left his house and stumbled onto a busy city street she cursed loudly, attracting the dismayed attention of a few passers by.

She called a taxi and paid the reasonably high fare as she arrived home.

"Where have you been? I have been worried sick? You look awful, are you alright?" Her dad cried, instantly fussing all over her as she walked through the front door. With a considerable headache and still seeing through morning eyes Iona almost fell backwards at her dads sudden outburst.

"Sorry! I'm fine...my phone died so i...stayed at a friends for the night...a little way out of town" Iona mumbled, closing the door behind her.

Her dads face hardened for a moment as he sensed the lie all over her. She knew that she reeked shame.

For - what Iona believed to be - the first time, in her life she saw her dad so hiddenly frustrated with her that he just walked away. "I have to go. I'm late for work"

And with that, he picked up his things and left. Iona sighed, feeling worse than she had done before and upon plugging her phone in, she was bombarded with messages, several "where are you's" from her dad and some from Tatty that were sent this morning.

They said "hey where are you?" And "lost you at the party last night, saw you with Jason". The last said "A nice girl called Marna drove me home, i'm meeting her for breakfast in a few, wish me luck (she is super cute)".

Iona quickly typed back "woke up at Jasons...feel terrible but good luck with Marna, text me how it goes".

Iona smiled, Tatty hadn't really been on anything close to a date with someone in forever, and 'breakfast' seemed as good as, Iona just hoped it worked out. Now Iona considered it, she hadn't been on a date in over a year either...unless she considered her random meetings with Jake.

Iona decided the alcohol wasn't really working. She was tired of the meaningless flings and forgettable evenings, she wanted something real, not hazy images of a night out soon to be regretted or forgotten entirely.

That is how Iona Grey ended up on her first official date with Jake, some two months later, and actually enjoying herself.

Somewhere along the line of her second year on the teacher training course, Iona and Jake became official and Iona felt somewhat content for the first time in a while.

She quit drinking alcohol which had its ups and downs. She stopped making reckless, regrettable decisions but it was as if the memory block she had set up with the alcohol had been washed away and the pain inside her returned just as strong as before whenever she thought about or was reminded of Parker.

.......

"Hey Marna" Iona said as she greeted Tatty and Marna who were now a couple (an adorable one at that), at the restaurant where they intended to have a meal out.

"Heyy Iona how are you?" Marna chirped cheerily, greeting her with a smile and a quick hug (not letting go of Tatty's hand while doing so) before they joined Razor at their table.

"Where's lover boy?" Razor asked as Iona sat down beside him and she rolled her eyes. Tatty had been extremely excited about Iona and Jake's relationship but Razor on the other hand (though he never said so) didnt seem as supportive. Iona knew deep down that Razor was still holding out hope that Parker would return to them...Iona had given up on such fantasies and was happy being with Jake...or so she convinced herself.

"He had to work tonight, he sends his apologies!" Iona sighed, secretly glad she could see her friends alone (aside from Marna, but she was so sweet that Iona didnt mind).

Marna and Tatty sat down next to one another, their hands intertwined and throughout the meal they would talk quietly to each other and giggle occaisonally, this caused Iona and Razor to flash each other amused looks as they had their own conversations.

"Hey i know what we could do Iona!" Razor whispered to Iona after their meal, later that evening, after he had had a few drinks. Iona glared over at him and sipped her lemonade.

"What?" Iona humoured him.

"Let's play a game!" He cried confidently and Iona looked at him scepticaly.

"What game?"

"Lets play What If!" He announced, still keeping his voice down so Tatty and Marna didnt tune in (which didnt seem like much of a problem as they had now turned to face oneanother and were smiling and talking in lowered voices, fiddling with one anothers hands in their laps.

"I'll go first! I say a scenario and you say what it would be like now....okay! What if i had not asked Tatty to prom" Razor said, the game becoming clearer to Iona after he demonstrated.

Iona thought for a moment, glancing at Tatty, it was hard to think back all that way. Tatty had waited patiently for Razor to ask her. Then Iona said "i doubt she would have even talked to you again! At least not for a good few weeks...she might have found someone else to go with and who knows where that could have lead! She might not be here with Marna but someone else" Iona said, becoming more interested in the game as she thought about it.

Razor beamed up at her, nodding intently "hmm...interesting! That would be a shame...look how happy they are" Razor said softly, glancing over at the happy couple. "Okay now you go" he said quickly and eagerly.

"Umm What Ifff...." Iona glanced around for inspiration, thinking carefully. "What if you hadnt tried for the college football team?" Iona said pathetically, unable to think of a better one, Razor didnt complain though.

"Oh well i would certainly have less friends anddd i would most likely be as round as a potato by now!" He laughed, finishing his glass of wine.

And so they continued with What ifs, from 'What if i had eaten that rotten chicken at that dodgy party?" To "what if you and i had been a couple?"

Iona left the restaurant that evening with a million things buzzing around her head. She could still think of several What If's that she hadnt wanted to say to Razor, she felt he did too. She found it fascinating how each small choice they had made added up to getting them where they are now.

There was one What If that Iona couldn't shake and that was... What if she had never met Parker. If she had not tripped over her own feet that day at school mid panic attack...Parker wouldnt have found her and taken her to the nurse...she wouldnt have bumped into him after and her life would have been completely different. She wouldnt know him, Razor, Tatty or Marna! All that difference due to one single trip. What if...

Be My EyesWhere stories live. Discover now