ー章.
she wants to throw her phone across the fucking world.
she buries her face in her hands, her attempts to keep her tears locked up failed. she wasn't aware of how loud her sobs were until she felt a warm hand on her back. she didn't wanna look up.
"it's gonna be okay. be my brave, strong girl."
those words. it couldn't have been him. she'd just got done arguing with him, just got done possibly ruining any type of friendship with him for good. he couldn't have showed up, probably wouldn't have showed up now. how would he even get in, that's what she wondered. maybe he was the ghost that could walk through doors and walls.
she slowly raised her head anyway, tears rushing out of her eyes like a waterfall. but her hopes were inevitably shot down ー as she'd expected ー for the figure rubbing and patting her back was not jeongguk, but this new guy. yoongi.
"i had little sister who i used to say that to." he says, smiling softly, "she passed away when she was fifteen. suicide. she slit her wrists in the bathtub. i always wondered after she died why she chose such a terrible way to go out. suicide is bad enough, you know? but committing suicide like that is even worse. i know she couldn't have died right away. must've been painful."
michi looks up at him in disbelief. she shakes her head, "i wish i was dead. i wish i was dead. i don't wanna live anymore. i don't wanna live anymore. i wish i was dead." she kept repeating.
"you love that boy. jeongguk."
her cries halt momentarily as yoongi continues speaking. "i believe you. i believe that you have a dead boy in your contacts. and sure, it's a bit creepy, a little scary, but i believe you. i assume you two have grown close."
"he hates me."
"doubt it. although he was popular, he was a really nice kid. humble, had a really big heart. couldn't hurt a fly, contrary to his really buff appearance. it's a shame he's gone, too. but it's nice that he finds comfort in you, even as his ghost form." yoongi says.
"he cared a lot, too," he continues, "i heard one time that after winning a competition, he gave his trophy to a handicapped child at a homeless shelter. he said that although the trophy was for winning a swimming competition, the little boy deserved it more for being such a brave person. for being such a good kid. maybe you did something to truly piss him off ー"
"i lied because i thought i was sparing his feelings. i thought i was doing the right thing by not letting him worry so much. but he caught my lie." she confesses.
yoongi nods, "it's always the same old i thought it was the right thing to do situation. but you never actually know if it's the right choice or wrong choice until you actually go through with it, and this ended up being the wrong choice. you should've thought ahead, maybe. thought about the possibility that maybe, just maybe, when your mother picked up your phone, he was asking about you. and that maybe she responded before trying to block him or delete his number or whatever she was gonna do."
"please don't rub it in."
"i'm not. i just see that you also have a very big heart, but you're shy and you have major trust issues. that's okay. but don't lie. and learn how to own up to your mistakes and move on. it's easy once you get the hang of it," yoongi stops rubbing her back, "but it is obvious you love him. or at least have a huge crush on him."
she growls. "it's not like that."
he chuckles. "it's not? you almost killed yourself again when you tried to run out of the room, ripping it your iv and whatnot. blacking out once falling on the floor. woke up and immediately asked about your phone again so you could text him. if that's not something more than friendship, i don't know what is. all because of a dead boy."
all because of a dead boy. she wipes her eyes. "yeah. all because of a dead boy. it's stupid right?"
"i think it's tragic."
