ー章.
after her suicide attempt, she had sworn to herself that she didn't wanna come back to the hospital she resided in. made her rub the scar on the back of her head.
so she would've never imagined having to come back to the hospital to sign paperwork regarding her mother's death, something she wasn't sure was a suicide or not.
her knee was bouncing rapidly, necklace tucked into her mouth, teeth gnawing on it as her eyes scanned over the many papers needed to be signed.
but her knee movements halted when she felt his hand squeeze her thigh. she turns to face him. he looks at her with sympathetic eyes that are still red from the alcohol he'd digested only an hour before.
"stop doing that, you're making me anxious."
he had seemed to sober up quick. as soon as she delivered the news to him, he seemed more hurt than she was. that made her even more disappointed in herself. having to see her friend more distraught than she was.
and she still wasn't feeling anything. despite the doctor's words replaying in her head, despite signing the papers, despite being there at the hospital, michi felt nothing.
once finishing the paperwork, she returned it to the receptionist ー pen, clipboard and all ー and made her way back to the waiting rooms where yoongi and his mother sat.
michi could imagine how she felt, losing a friend. kept dabbing her eyes from any loose tears. she averted her eyes. plopped down in the seat next to yoongi. looked at him.
"come with me to get a snack from the snack machine."
"okay."
but as soon as they both stand up, yoongi pulls her into his arms. holds her small body against him tightly, rests his chin on her head. and michi can feel her insides tightening, can feel her eyes shutting as she finally begins to cry.
as if everything had hit her at once; not only was she suddenly feeling something from her mother's loss, but she felt something different while being in yoongi's arms.
safety.
"don't blame yourself, michi, i can tell that's what you're doing. it's okay to feel sad. you're made to feel pain," he whispers in her ear, "don't worry. i got you."
everything hurts at this point, but mainly her heart. it was pounding loudly, pounding hard. she didn't wanna seem weak, didn't wanna seem vulnerable, and maybe that's what was holding her back.
because when she hesitantly wrapped her arms around yoongi's neck, pulling herself into him more, she begin to emotionally breakdown. tears rapidly streaming from her eyes. heart in pieces now.
this. this was where she crumbled.
this was her breaking point.
