An overly-eager artist being welcomed into the industry is taken on a bumpy ride as she learns life does not have as many sunny days as she thought. Within the process, she comes to learn that her tour guide is a lot more important to her than she e...
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May 2, 1984 Rosemont, Illinois
The first show of the entire tour was at the Rosemont Horizon in Rosemont, Illinois. I still can't believe how terrified I was. I was trembling. In fact, I was barfing in the garbage can backstage as the seats filled in. I had twenty minutes until showtime and I couldn't even walk. My body was limp and my face was pale. You would've thought I had the flu. Tears slipped out of my eyes as my heart was beating out of my chest and a cold chill was crisp down my back, making the hairs on my neck erect. I may still be in denial but I don't think the nerves were ever due to my fear of the crowd or my fear of performing. I don't know where they came from. Perhaps my body needed to rid itself of those toxins before I officially transitioned into a new stage of my life.
Thoughts were racing as I sat with my face in that garbage can until there was a knock on the bathroom door.
"Lyric, are you all right?" One of the dancers asked as she was standing by the door. I heard Lenetta mumble something but was never able to make it out. I opened my mouth to respond but it was interrupted when more vomit flew from the core of my body. I coughed and gagged, I even cried a little. I'm sure the sound was horrid.
"I'm fine," I managed to croak out though I knew I was lying through my teeth. How could I perform like that? How did I even grow a big enough pair to go up on that stage and give those people what they deserved? There was no possible way, I thought. It reminded me of my school musical in the tenth grade. It was my first and last speaking role. I was Cleopatra in a musical called Nights of Egypt. That night I was a wreck... A real stinker. I remember freaking out in the dressing room. I didn't mess up any lines but my heart wasn't in it. I was miserable. All of my stress from that night was internal.
There was a twist at the door knob and bump. My sister was then in front of me, standing tall as she looked down on me. She looked disappointed. Aaliyah closed the door and sat down next to me, her legs crossing over one another to conceal what was beneath her dress. I wished to face her but was forced to turn away nearly immediately to stick my head back in the garbage can. Otherwise, she would've been covered in my puke. Aaliyah didn't say much at first. She only shook her head and rubbed my back.
Eventually, she spoke.
"Why are you doing this?" I threw up more. Why am I doing this? "You always do this. You let your fears get to you. You let your doubt eat at your confidence." I mug her with my face still in the garbage can. I wanted to talk so bad but I kept gagging. My sickness saved her because every insult I had for her in that moment sounded like it was fresh off of a Redd Foxx record. "This is my chance to tell you since I know you can't interrupt me," she giggled a bit.
I vomited more, something I didn't think was physically possible.
"Chanel, you're becoming someone. You're becoming someone that takes a lot of courage... Sure, you're smart but it's more than that. Remember our little trio?" I weakly smiled and she continued on. "I'm going to start rambling."
