An overly-eager artist being welcomed into the industry is taken on a bumpy ride as she learns life does not have as many sunny days as she thought. Within the process, she comes to learn that her tour guide is a lot more important to her than she e...
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May 14, 1985 Chicago, Illinois
I stood at the door awaiting for someone's arrival, Aaliyah next to me as we made the pilgrimage to investigate my parents. I didn't care who answered but somebody needed to answer the door. The doorbell was broken. I had to knock and I was knocking until my knuckles were sore. I'd been standing at the door for almost ten minutes. I was persistent. Somebody was going to let us in.
The door swung open. "Chanel... What are you doing here?"
"Mom, I haven't talked to you in almost a year."
She gave me an unbothered look. "I'm aware, baby. What would you like me to do?" My palms grew so sweaty that I was forced to run my hands along my sides. I felt like I got by a ton of bricks. This was my mother saying that to me.
I looked at Aaliyah, concern eating at my stone exterior as I was losing my cool. She was shaking her head in nothing but disappointment in our mother. I don't know why when it was her idea to come here. I told her that our mother wasn't my biggest fan currently. Yet, Aaliyah pushed the idea. "Mom, can we come in," Aaliyah asked.
My mother stepped aside to allow enough space for us to walk in. Aaliyah walked in front of me with my hand locked in hers. She knew if she wasn't holding my hand I'd run off to the car. We sat on the couch, my mom on the other end and Aaliyah in the middle. Aaliyah sat a tad bit closer to my mother as I kept my distance, our positions mirroring my mental outlook on the three of us and our relationships.
"Mommy, why are you doing this to her?" Aaliyah's question came out as a plead. Aaliyah was always her favorite, if you asked me. How do you have a favorite twin? It all led back to our social lives. My mother was a sugarcoating princess. She was the epitome Prom Queen. My mother was the Aaliyah of her days and for some reason she got upset that I was not. I couldn't help that I had different interests. I thought 'making it' and performing in front of a couple thousand people while on television would get me somewhere with but obviously not. "She's trying mom, look at her!"
My legs were crossed in my dress. My favorite sprite jellies held my yellow toes as my matching hat was in my hand. Regardless of everything, my mother hadn't insulted my hair. I knew that was only because I'd grown it out over time. My shoulder lengthen hair was grown out and I'd straightened it. I know she secretly loved it.
"I see her. I see all of you."
"Mom, why were you so upset with me? I don't know what I did, Mama. Then Daddy started shunning me? Did I do something?"
My mother gulped uncomfortably. I felt her discomfort from where I sat. It spoke in loud volume. "You tried to take my baby from me." She was making something up. In desperate need of some sort of an excuse, she was making things up.
"Mom, you guys are never even home! You can't just leave Eddie here alone like that. We're practically raising him right. Us and Uncle Dori too." Aaliyah was feeling a lot bolder than I thought, I saw. Getting loud with my mother like we were The Brady Bunch. I always did think Marsha needed a whipping. Aaliyah would remain untouched though. Knowing my mother, she would never have done to Aaliyah what she would have done to me. "Please, just stop being mad at her!"
