Our Love // Ambrollins

Chapter 8 ~ Doing What's Best

Chapter 8 ~ Doing What's Best

Roman sobbed to himself as they set Dean on a stretcher and put him into the ambulance. Roman climbed in with him, wanting to be there to support his best friend. He didn't care about leaving his things behind and it being stolen; right now, his main concern was Dean. 

Why would Dean do this to himself? Why would he let his heartbroken self do this? 

The Samoan blamed himself for this happening to Dean. If he were there with Dean instead of arguing with Seth over something ridiculous, maybe Dean would be fine right now. Instead of being dead, he'd be crying into Roman's shoulder or they'd be at a bar to drink their worries away. 

Roman knew Dean was the self-destructive type, but he never thought Dean would go this far. He never thought he would go as far as to kill himself. Didn't he know how much it'd hurt the people who cared about him? 

No, Dean wouldn't realize that. He thought everyone hated him, that he didn't matter to a single person. Roman remembered Dean telling him that so many times after what happened between him and Seth. He comforted Dean by reminding him that he'd always be his friend and nothing would change that.

Dean said he believed Roman, but there was something in the back of his mind that told him that Roman was only saying that because he felt obligated to, not because he wanted to. He felt alone in  this world and couldn't figure out what his place was in it.

The paramedics worked on Dean, trying to revive him. Roman's teary eyes blurred his vision, making him unable to see the monitor Dean was connected to. Once they arrived at the hospital, they rushed him in and a doctor took him in immediately. 

Roman ran in after them, only to have the nurses tell him he had to sit in the waiting room. He shook his leg nervously while biting on his fingernails. 

His thoughts were jumbled, a giant mess of pain. His heart was aching, wishing he had been there to stop Dean from going through with it. To talk him out of it. 

It's Seth's fault! Roman thought to himself. If he hadn't started an argument over something so small and stupid, I would have been there for Dean. He's the reason this occurred. 

Roman's thoughts began to consume him, dragging him to the dark side of his mind. So many things swirled within him, making him unable to focus on one thing. He got up and ran to the bathroom, locking himself in one of the stalls. 

He slid down the door of the stall until he fell to the floor. Curling up in a ball, he sobbed to himself. His body was trembling with fear as he cried louder, screaming out to the world and wondering what went wrong. What did he do to deserve the misery? 

He punched the wall, anger rushing through him. It was his fault Dean did this to himself. He blamed himself for all of this. 

"I'm such a fucking moron!" He slapped himself in the face. "That's what you get, you fucking moron!" 

Someone knocked on the stall. "Uh, sir, are you okay?" 

"No, I'm not, now go the fuck away!" Roman growled, slamming his fist against the stall door. The guy scurried away, his footsteps loud and annoying. "I'm the reason my best friend is dying! It's all my fucking fault!" 

He cried harshly, it getting hard for him to breath. He didn't care about himself; if he died right then and there, he would thank the Grimm Reaper for coming to get him. He wouldn't cower away and beg for a second chance; he would shake the Grimm Reaper's hand and walk into the light with him by his side.