Please, Remember Me

Chapter Twenty-One - Shrapnel

I woke up slowly at first.

I felt my head pounding like a drummer had taken up residence behind my eyes.

Yeah, I'd called it the night before, I was going to want to die today.

I did a mental inventory of my body and self.

Head hurting, check. Dry throat and mouth, check. Grubby and dirty, check. Sore between my legs, check.

Then I froze.

Sore...

It all came back to me, like a flashback in the movies, pictures flew through my brain. Adam's pierced tongue in my mouth. Adam's pierced tongue on my breasts, Adam's pierced tongue other places...

Adam on top of me pounding into me ferociously, me screaming with release.

Adam's bloody back, blood from the scrapes my nails had caused as I came. Hard. Multiple times.

Motherfucking fuck.

Every detail came to me, every single horrifying detail.

I'd actually fucked one of my best friends last night.

I'd slept with Adam.

Adam who I'd known for years.

Adam whose slutty one-night-stands I'd chased out of his place many a times.

Adam who I'd had to check up on to make sure he didn't OD.

Adam who'd held me when I cried.

Adam who'd bought me wine and fried chicken.

Adam I spoke to and saw pretty much every single day.

What the hell have I done?

I took further inventory of my situation.

I felt no one in the bed beside me, but that didn't mean anything.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit times infinity.

How fucking stupid was I? The plan had been to sleep with a random stranger! Not someone who was practically my brother!

Okay, so I figured I couldn't ever, ever think that about him ever again. Not after all of the things that had happened during the night.

Fuck!

I opened my eyes slowly and tried not to move.

What if he was still here? What if he wasn't? Which would be worse? Was it even possible at this moment for this moment to become worse?

I slowly and carefully turned on my back and realized no one was in the room with me.

I sat up and looked around my floor. His things were gone, nothing to ensure me that he'd even been here in the first place. Well, apart from my sore lady-business and probable sex-hair.

I stood up on shaky legs and fought nausea as I did.

I breathed deeply for a few moments trying to push away the urge to vomit.

Once I was out of the danger-zone I moved to my bedroom door. I put my ear to it and tried to concentrate and listen if anyone was moving around in my flat.

I heard nothing.

I carefully opened the door and peeked out.

Empty.