Please, Remember Me

Chapter Five - Are You Real, Really, Really, Real?

It had been a month now.

We were finally doing it and I was about as nervous as anyone could ever be. Olympians? Nowhere near as nervous. Contestants on The X Factor? Please. People on trial? Maybe...

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the situation rather than the anxious and excited energy flowing through me.

After four months, four very long... yet strangely short, months this was finally it. I'd see whoever it was that I'd shared my life and thoughts and secrets with.

I'd imagined him time and time again, ranging from balding old man to sixteen year old pimply-faced kid. I'd imagined him tall, short, fat, skinny, black, white, Asian. I'd imagined him in so many different ways that I had no clue what to expect now.

I was really fucking close to backing out of this.

What we had so far was nice and stable, no need to complicate it and make it change. Because it would unquestionably change the minute we saw each other.

Suddenly we'd have a picture in our heads to go with all those secrets and things we knew about each other. And what if this attraction I felt toward the written version of him wouldn't translate to the physical version of him? What if any attraction he might feel towards me faded with the physical version of me? What if our friendship vanished because some of the mystery of it all went away?

It was all such a complete wildcard, no way in the world to know what would happen from here on out.

And I was scared beyond belief.

I took another deep breath and tried to mentally and physically steady the fluttering in my belly. I was pretty much made of pure adrenaline at this point and I was sure I looked it too. I probably had crazy eyes, blotchy red face and sweat glistening everywhere.

I hadn't even made any sort of preparation for this. I didn't change out of my ratty vest top or my comfy flannel pyjama-bottoms. I didn't have any makeup on, my hair was loose and probably a little bit wild.

Fuck, I really should have thought this through.

The video chat came through and for a moment my heart stopped.

One beat, two.

And then it started up again to a frantic and erratic beat that I felt everywhere.

Steady, Nat. No turning back now! I tried to pump myself up mentally and reached out to click Accept.

The little symbol of a circle turning round and round got me so freaked I might have even made a desperate noise. I really hoped the microphones hadn't connected yet.

And then, there he was.

I saw the light green wall behind him first and a window cornered in the frame displaying a tiny bit of sun-covered grass.

Then I saw dark brown hair. It was longish and messy in an entirely attractive way. A bit of wave to it and some tendrils fell over his forehead in a way that hundreds of men tried to perfect through styling and gels, but could never quite make as perfect as this. Dark slanted brows, straight nose, full lips... Lips that you could write poetry about if you were so inclined. Lips that even through the slightly grainy picture, lips that were thousands of miles away, shot a spark of lust through me and straight to my lady-parts. Lips I wanted to taste, run my finger over... maybe my tongue.

A square, sharp jaw covered in a tiny bit of scruff, just enough to make it look like he hadn't had time to shave, not enough to make him look hipster-ish. And eyes... Eyes the deepest, clearest blue I'd ever seen. Eyes so blue it was like staring up at the sky or out over the open ocean. Eyes that were twinkling with amusement right at this moment.