Oh God, when I read comments on my book about how good of a person I am, I love it. When I see comments saying I'm the best, mostly from my Property, it wamrs up my.... ho-my chasm where my heart used to be. It makes me really happy. Almost happier than Markiplier when he gets really uber happy. I love hearing that I'm improving other peoples lives. Which I don't hear at all, because all my friends know wh- sorry, they "know" who they are already. Only one friend of mine really struggles, and I love helping him out, because makes me feel like I have a purpose in life. With all my other friends, it seems as though I could easily be replaced by someone, or I could just leave them and they won't even flinch. Also, why I put air quotes around 'know' is because, all my friends are teenagers. They don't know who they are. They still have room to grow and feel different things. They won't stay the way they are forever. There will always be a slight change. Even with me, I always thought that I would end up dying prematurely by way of suicide. Look at me...now..? I'm not a good example. But, seriously, we are teenagers, we don't know ourselves, we are just starting to learn who we are and who we want to be. So, if you think you'll be depressed forever, one day you'll find happiness... unless of course you kill yourself, but in death you will find happiness. If you think you'll be single forever, shut up! You are still, most likely, in school. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend, focus on your studies. After you graduate from high school you can get a partner. Education before lust of a relationship, but family before education. So, to sum it all up, I'm a Narcissistic Sociopath who is also a Sadist to a certain degree, a Masochist to a certain degree, an Anti-Social Depression sufferer, an insane Insomniac, and who's personality is polite around people I don't know or people that I like, but if you make an enemy of me, you won't heard from again. My dreams are nightmares. I hallucinate that my family is perfect even though I do not know the definition of perfection. I use Wattpad as a tool to help me control myself. Before this I wrote in an actual physical leather bound journal, which I would use the pages to wipe the blood off my hands from snakes biting me. And because I'm quite a pyromaniac/arsonist, I burned it. The smell of my blood burning in a fire was one smell I never expected to smell in my life time.
Merry Fourth of July! :^]
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Summer Journal #1 (COMPLETE)
RandomI decided that I should write a summer journal to keep me sane, so here you guys go! Be ready to be triggered.
