Summer Journal #1 (COMPLETE)

Live For What?

WARNING: YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS. I TALK ABOUT MY OWN DEMISE. IF YOU ARE EASILLY OFFENDED OR YOU HAVE HAD HISTORY OF SELF-HARMING I RECCOMEND YOU DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

So, I'm alright before anyone asks. I'm not being suicidal. I'm just saying, what do people live for? I mean, I live right now because someone needs me. I'm half of a duo. The Joker and Harley duo. The male Harley Quinn doe. Just gotta make dat clear. I live to please multiple people, but the thing is, majority of the people say, if I die, they wouldn't literally die. So, if I die, they stay alive, which is completely perfect. But, if I were to ever take my own life, I can die in peace knowing that my death wouldn't cause anyone else to die, and I won't have that guilt. But, if I were to take my own life, this is how I'd do it:

I'd turn on the camera. I'd record myself. I'd say my intro that I always do, and say things. And then I'd address my really close personal friends (Alexx, Emma, etc.). I'd address my family, I would tell everything in that video, all my secrets, all things that are on my mind. Then, I'd say my final words, which would also say, my last request is that this video would be uploaded to my channel at all costs(titled: LL-My Last Laugh). If I had a gun, I'd point it to my temple, I'd smile to the camera, maniacally laugh and pull the trigger. If I had no gun or drugs, I'd grab something sharp, smile at the camera, laugh maniacally and show them me cutting myself, bleeding everywhere. And then stab between my ribs over my heart, and sink the blade into my body. And if I only had drugs/bleach to drink/overdose, I'd do it all with a smile on my face.