Summer Journal #1 (COMPLETE)

Untitled Part 69 (Haha, this is part 69)

"Hang in there bro. People love you. Family doesn't start or end with blood all the time either"

-Alexx_the_hottie

This is a response to a comment. So, if anyone gets offended, I did not intend. Okay, yes I know people love me. But, it's to a certain extent. And, majority of the people who love me, love me out of pity. They become close friends out of pity. All the people I'm close to are that way because I opened up to me, and I knew they'd pity me because that's what nice people do. But I don't want pity. I want someone to be my friend because they wanted to, not because of pity. I like it when people feel bad for me, but on the other side of my mentality, I don't. Because, what happens when I don't have any problems. They're gone. No one is there. After I'm healed up mentally, I don't have them. It's just like when you have a car accident. You go to the hospital, people are caring for you, and after you healed up, the nurses and doctors are gone. They treat you normally again. I don't want that. I want to be stuck forever in the need of help state. But, when you have someone help you out, they'll tire eventually, and they'll not want to help and then they leave. And, you know how you have those suicide or depression hotlines, those are worthless. Those people are paid to do what they do. They aren't real, they just do it because it's there job. And then- ugh. I just need to shut up. Gah. I'm going to sleep.