Summer Journal #1 (COMPLETE)

My Day

its been a really long day, I mean I woke at six in the morning and stayed awake, and I played some video games, made four hours go by. I cooked myself some eggs and dropped garlic in my coffee by accident, then lunch time rolled around and for lunch I had a thing of apple sauce. I then sat in my room for five hours just sitting and waiting for something. mom came home, I asked her to make something for dinner, I got impatient and made spaghetti for myself and lil bro. then I went back to me room, sat in silence for a half an hour, took a shower, had my sister pop my black heads. went back to my room, turned on some black veil brides music/falling in reverse/panic/mcr/top/fob/one republic and played with the jenga blocks. and since then I've been bored and awake and alone with my thoughts. though this time, they were nice. my thoughts weren't yelling at me or being suicidal, my thoughts were being uplifiting, encouraging me to do something with all this spare time I had. my thoughts were making me happy, and then I started thinking over my day, I looked at old thoughts and yearbooks and my friends writing and I realized how incredibly reliant I am on my friends. I rely on them to bring me happiness, which sucks because one day they wont be there, they'll be off somewhere doing satan knows what and i'll be in a padded cell, waiting for a visitor to come by and hug me. I need to be very self reliant, because my friends wont always be there for me to talk to them, they'll be busy doing something or they just simply are too lazy to get on Wattpad or email or tum tum, or they might not even want to talk to them. I'm incredibly lonely, maybe that's why I lose my mind all the time when I don't talk to someone. and yes, autumn, before you ask or just anyone who reads this, I am alright, I'm just alone and bored, and I have way too much time to myself. also, I feel as though if I had a girlfriend who the both of us were immensely in love with each other, I would hope that she'd always be up for a talk with me, no matter who or what she is doing.

stay strange