I toss and turn, bed sheets tangled through my legs. I find it hard to close my eyes, but I squeeze them shut. It takes all my might, but I do.
The window lets in a whistle from the airy sky, a dark, dark color that only shows few stars. My pillows feel damp, my heart, heavy.
Every thought seems to be getting in my way tonight. I've been getting better at controlling it, but tonight, it won't stop.
I try to block them out, but then, one rushes through my head, like a nerve being pinched. Sharp pains run through my temples, and I feel as if the world has been laid out for me. The thought stabs,
Don't you see? Void of not, you hurt them. You put them in danger. You can't get near them. You can't talk to them. You will them. They will never forgive you. Ever.
The image of Liam, bloody and gashed on the school parking lot seeps through my brain, and Hayden, lifeless. The film of Cassidy, collapsing in hurt as she holds her broken arm in the middle of the library.
The look on Paige's face when I tricked her. The fear I caused Scott, Lydia, Malia. The panicking Stiles as I sang the dreadful song that once dictated my mind.
I can't. I can't put them in danger. What if the serum wears off? What if I hurt them again? What if they don't trust me anymore? They'll never look at me the same. Ever.
the truth hit me.
It hit me hard.
It stabbed me in the gut,
it pounded me like a fist.
Finally, I understand.
I realize what I have to do.
I have to stay away.
I have to leave my pack.
