Lost Girl!

Conflicted

I woke up in the woods near the river I was naked how did I end up naked? I stood up looking around to see if I can find something to cover up with but no luck so I started walking, as I was walking I tried to remember what happened then a sharp pain came with the memories.

"No" Savvy screamed when they charged Savage then I was there in front of all three they seemed taller for some reason and they stopped in fear and took off running Savage and Savvy ran up to me but they didn't talk to me they only talked to each other.

"Those three have the loudest mouths around. And you know they will run them about Zavean." Savvy said

"I know. Go get the truck we will cut them off from town. Zav run go to the woods we will find you."

So I took off running and worried about all of them.

I was a block away from the house when Jazlenne ran up to me with a robe I took it and put it on then I had this horrible feeling something was wrong so I took off running. When I got to the house Taz was holding Savage down as he screamed in pain.

"MOVE!! He is changing and he needs space."

They all looked at me but did as I said then I moved closer to Sav.

"Don't fight it man go run it helps with the pain. It only hurts when you fight it." I told him then he took off into the woods behind his house.

Taz stood in front of me with a stern look directed at me then he picked me up and hugged me.

"Thanks for saving our asses. Don't worry those three won't run their mouths. I'm glad you're OK and safe." He put me down when he was done.

Savage came through the back door and when he seen me he said "so that's what you go through the pain and fear of hurting the ones you care about. I didn't know what was going on..."

"Yeah it's scary but only painful when you fight it. Yeah it's still painful when you don't fight it but it's hella less painful trust me." I said not looking at him cause it's my fault that he has to go through this.

I walked to my room when I heard the screaming I was down stairs within seconds when he was in the process of changing I pushed Taz away and helped Savage outside.

"Why did you shove me away?" Taz asked with the hurt written all over his face.

"Because Taz you could get bit or scratched on accident. And trust me when I say he would never forgive himself if he hurt you or anyone. He'd blame himself."

"So you blame yourself for him then?"

"Yes because that was when I accepted that I'm a monster Taz!"

No one spoke for awhile afterwards then Taz said " I thought it was the coolest thing that you were a werewolf i wanted you to turn me but then I seen the pain written over your face." He said with him looking so serious.

"We are a family Zav no matter what and I know Savage turning was an accident but when you get control over your wolf and you finish becoming who you are I still want you to turn me. I have thought about it and after yesterday's incident I want to be able to protect all of you guys and I don't want to be a victim you have to always protect. And I know at this moment you will deny me but I can wait." He was so serious hey actually wants this and I understood he is seeing Savage and I go through this change and feels like he is being left behind somehow.

"All I can say for sure Taz is I know we didn't ask for this it just happening and I know you are serious so we will have this conversation when shit isn't so crazy right now deal?" I said the truth and hope he understands. He looks at me and shook his head then we lit up a joint but then I felt the change coming before it came. Is this normal to change so much I thought it was only when the full moon was out! I stood up and ran to the back door when I collapsed as the pain shot through me I didn't fight it and it happened a lot smoother then before I heard everyone running towards me I sat there I didn't take off. I actually know what's going on with this change then I passed out I dreamed I was running and then it was like everything about me and the change made since all of a sudden. What I was going through was called Ascending and all the frequently changing is me learning how to control and understand what is happening to me.

I will continue to change until I can learn to communicate with my wolf and find out who my wolf is which is figuring out who I am it's a double edged blade with this whole Ascending process. But I still don't know or understand why this is happening to me.

When I woke I was on the couch covered with a towel and Savage was sitting with the others around me.
When he seen me awake he smiled at me and got up tossing me one of his shirts as I sat up putting the shirt on I hear Jazlenne and Taz arguing about about some band I think but I tried to ignore them.

"The change isn't a bad thing if you're not fighting it! And when you are near helping me I have no fear of the change. But when someone else is helping me I-I...."

" I know! You are scared of hurting them." I said not looking at him in a very low voice.

He must have seen the pain I was trying to hide cause then he says, " It wasn't your fault of what happened to me....." I didn't let him finish his sentence by walking to the kitchen.

I don't know who I am anymore I don't know what I am capable of I've done hurt someone I care about. So how is this Ascending not a bad thing? I was so lost in my thoughts that when someone touched my shoulder I jumped, I didn't even notice that someone came in until that moment. Then the person wrapped their small arms around me and just held me for a while, the smell of the person I came to recognize as Jazlenne consumed me the sweet smell of Summer taking my worries away then she pulled back whipping tears that I didn't know I had away then she took my hand in hers and said, " let go and get something to eat please?"

I smiled and nodded and let her guide me my head swarmed all around as I stare at her hand in mine.
Is this what it feels like to have a life mate? Wait life what? I'm confused what is a life mate I never heard that term before. I pushed all thoughts aside when I realized we were at pizza house I smiled and said, " let's get three boxes!"

She laughed and it was the most amazing sound I heard, when she noticed i was looking at her she blushed and turned hiding her face as she walked inside I followed smirking at everyone who stared cause I forgot I was in a oversized shirt only.

When we walked into the house everyone swarmed us and I laughed but I kept a box to myself and walked upstairs to my room Jazlenne followed and and asked, " could I stay another night?" I nodded with my mouth full of pizza. We just just talk about everything and nothing and when we looked at the time I went to lay in my spot on the floor.

" You can sleep in your bed there is enough room!" She said whispering.

I got into bed and just laid there in silence trying to go to sleep when she rolled over asleep laying her head on my chest and cuddling close to me I stayed frozen for what seemed like forever then I let her innocent touch consume me and I fell asleep holding her.