Rants, Rhythms And Downright Randomness

True frens

So I was having a really bad day at school and literally broke down at one point.

I locked myself in one of the toilet stalls and cried; partly because someone had a go at me for something that they weren't even involved in, and partly because there's been a lot of s*** going on in my head at the minute.

I felt worthless and hated myself. I sat there for about 20 minutes, sobbing to myself.

Then a group of my friends walked into the bathroom, chatting and laughing. I tried my best to keep quiet, but one of them heard me and came to ask who it was and if I was ok.

I mumbled out a reply somewhere along the lines of "I'm fine", but they didn't believe me. So they stood on the other side of the door and talked to me, trying to convince me to come out of the stall.

Then some more of my friends came over and eventually I opened the door.

The minute I opened it I was pulled into a hug and had a group surrounding me asking what was wrong and if I was okay.

Now, I didn't think I was that well liked by many people at my school, so it came as a real shock to me the sheer amount of people worried for me.

I stopped crying and some of them walked with me to lesson, being absolutely lovely.

I went in and immediately my teacher wanted to know what was wrong, but they didn't push me to talk.

They got me tissues and said that if I wanted to leave class at any point I could. So many people asked if I was alright in that lesson.

Then about 20 minutes before the end the teacher drew me a smiley face on a post-it-note. I was so touched that I actually began crying again, not out of sadness this time.

People accepted it when I said I didn't want to talk about it and I felt so wanted at the end of that lesson, I felt so cared for.

Then after school, I had people messaging me to see if I was okay, and assuring me they were always there for me.

But what really made me realise how much I both care for and am cared about by my friends was what one of my closest friends sent me.

We are real music nerds and one of our favourite artists is Frank Iero. She sent me a picture of Frank, knowing it would cheer me up.

It was such a small gesture, but I was so thankful that I had someone who understood that I didn't want to talk, and just provided me with reassurance.

I have never thought I was that important to others. Never felt that that many people actually liked me. But seeing all the people making sure I was okay, reassuring me, just being there - I realise just how many lives each person can touch and just how much even a small gesture can mean to someone.

I am so thankful for my friends and don't know where I'd be without them.

______________________________________

So, this one is a lot longer. But today, I felt so vulnerable. But I've come to realise that real friendship is being able to show your vulnerability and not be judged or feel small for it. I've always kinda hidden how I feel from those around me, not wanting to inconvenience others with my problems; but so many were there for me when everything came spilling out.
To all of the people in my life who are there with me through the ups and downs - thank you.

Stlt ~ Northern Downpour by Panic! At The Disco