Akagami No ShirayukiHime: Obi's New Love (Obi X Moyenne ~OC~)

Why I haven't been posting as much

So, all of you don't know, but I am suffering from great depression and anxiety. You haven't heard this but I feel as if it is needed to be said. I know wattpad isn't exactly the place to drown others in your 'problems' and that's not what I exactly plan to do. I haven't been getting sleep lately, so I just stay on wattpad for hours trying to write, or go into Paint Tool Sai and Krita to draw. Although, I find myself useless when I do these things. I have never heard anyone say "I love you" and truly mean it, so that causes my depression, if you are wondering. I love talking to people, and hearing the nice comments about my book everyday is such an up lifter. I'm a normal person, I don't cut or do any of that, I like to smile and talk to people, and make them feel like they're important, but when I hear comments like "I love the book! keep updating" or "I cant wait to hear what happens next!" it really brings a smile to my face and it keeps me going everyday. I love all 29 of my followers, even if they don't comment, but as long as they know I exist and at least read some of the things that I say, that, I can say is fair. I just moved, and I have to say I'm pretty happy about it. Being able to tell my readers how I feel, behind the follow and author relationship, more like friends, means I trust you guys. I'll definitely upload later today or tomorrow morning. My anxiety is something unexplainable to me. Sometimes I'll just have random anxiety attacks, but I'm okay, I promise :). Also, people have been asking me what type of person I am.. I guess I can go from serious to a jerk to a nice person that everyone loves. But, I feel like if I act serious or like a jerk, people won't get to know me, and won't like me at all. I am pretty popular in school and online, and I feel that if I keep practicing to keep a smile and laugh, it'll be better, but I just figured out that having friends that won't listen to what you need to say, isn't a good thing. Yes, listening to music, writing, and drawing may help us feel better, but for how long? Friends are needed.. and surprisingly, since I moved, I can't really get in touch with any of them, and most of my online friends have jobs.. or are busy, or aren't interested anymore. One moment I was best friends with this person, the next day, they didn't come online, and it remained like that for a month. I figured out he actually moved to Steam and Discord, and I was kind of hurt. But that's okay, I guess, people move on. I find it a lot easier to write when no one is distracting me, people aren't talking to me, but I still feel a little.. hurt inside when people don't message me at all. I'm a type of person that is easy to confront, but I'm very shy and awkward at first. People constantly ask me what I look like and if I'm a nice person, but I don't know how to respond. Like I said, I'm a normal person, hazel eyes, brown hair. I'm not exactly a nice person all the time, then again nobody can be nice 24/7. Still, I feel as though people have been annoying me lately. And it's none of you, just people in real life. I'll text them and 3 days later their respond, and  this will repeat over and over again. I'd like to think that I'm honest, kind, and a pretty awesome person to be around, but I'm not sure. I've just been pretty depressed lately, and I feel I had to say all of that. I will upload very soon, I promise. Also, you all can call me AJ. Love you all, stay safe.

- AJ/Hitaharuko