STORM.

☹eleven

i was in pain.

everything hurt.

at first i couldn't understand it;

the feeling.

it made me go into this shell away from both the people i was close to and the person i used to be.

i laid in my bed and just let the thoughts consume me whenever i got the chance.

before then, i never knew unvoiced words could do so much damage.

but they did.

not only did i hate myself, but i hated everything around me.

i grew distant from my family,

i lost contact with some close friends,

i even broke the vase with those flowers you had bought me after finals.

even if they were from you, i hated the fact that something so beautiful was still living freely in this world around me.

not haunted by late night thoughts,

not stopping to find every single flaw every time it walked by a mirror and caught sight of its reflection,

not having to convince itself day after day that life was worth living even though it knew it was a lie.

quite frankly i hated beauty;

yet, i was never exactly mad every time you managed to take my breath away.