STORM.

☹fifty

it's been awhile.

it's been over a month since we last talked.

i felt awful,

but at the same time,

i was proud.

this was the first time i had ever managed to take control of my life.

i didn't have to force myself to do anything anymore.

if i wanted to frown,

i could.

if i wanted to cry,

i could.

if i wanted to die,

i could.

because as i said before,

i knew this wouldn't last.

i knew this would end just as quickly as it started.

your temporary seemingly 'adoration' was the best thing i have ever been able to experience,

and i am so thankful for that opportunity i certainly didn't deserve.

sure enough however,

just as i knew,

there would be a day where all of that broke and on that day i promised i would never blame you.

thankfully,

i actually managed to keep one of the many careless words that i muttered in your ear,

on those stormy nights where i held you.