STORM.

☹twelve

your smile,

your laugh,

your dumb fucking nose crinkle.

i was addicted to it.

everything about you was an addiction to me-

you were my addiction.

time after time i breathed you in and swallowed those feeling, and time after time i hated myself more and more after.

i wanted an intervention.

i wanted someone to tell me i didn't have to be this way.

that if i let you go everything was going to be okay.

they say some people in life are like drugs, that they give you temporary happiness and ease, but are still slowly fucking you up, inside and out.

so maybe you were my sanity drug instead?

but what would i need to feel sane about?

oh right.

my entire life was an ongoing mess of balancing on a tightrope.

i stayed trying to continue despite how tired i got because i knew if i were to fall that would be it.

the end.

maybe you were my release from all that.

i didn't need to drink or smoke in order to forget how much i hated every little thing about myself and my life.

all i needed was to look into your eyes for a couple of seconds and remember,

this is for him.