STORM.

☹thirty

the sound of soft rain and the smell of lavender filled the air.

it made me feel at ease.

right now there was no anxiety, no depression, no paranoia, no self hate.

all i could feel was affection.

affection for the beautiful sound of the raindrops.

affection for the lack of loud noises to disturb your rest.

affection for the way you held onto me as you slept through the lovely sunday morning.

i didn't need a doctor, or a therapist or pills.

all i've ever needed was you.

all i've ever wanted was you.

but i know one day that will be the reason of my greatest downfall.

every piece of my heart that both you and i have somehow managed to tape back together will break once again-

but worse than ever.

however, i will try my best to prepare for that day.

to not let myself get pulled back down into the hell that is my thoughts and careless actions that almost caused me to lose my life the first time in front of you.

to not let myself make it seem as if it was your fault.

so whenever that may be,

i'll be prepared to go without hurting you.

but i guess this was all just the consequence for falling in love with you.