Komorebi

cancer

Your boyfriend Lucky, sat by your hospital bed. He's been in there with you every day and slept there every night, since you had to be hospitalized.

"Friends..Scrubs..Reba?" Lucky named shows you could possibly want to watch.

"Do me a favor," you put your hand on top of his, "Turn it off."

He was hesitant for some reason, then he looked nervous to face you.

"Is something wrong?"

You scoff, "Lucky, you don't have to keep pretending."

"What? I'm not pretending." he lied.

"I'm not gonna beat this..I'm just not." you twiddled your fingers, "But I'm okay with it. You know, I've never had anything to complain about..and I still don't."

You honestly smiled at him but it faded when you saw him crying.

Lucky briefly blew his nose, "That's a really bold thing to say y/n."

"I'm not worried," you kissed his hand, "Because you're here with me and that's more than enough."

Lucky stared at you as you cheekily smiled at every little thing.

"I admire those who smile even after all the things they've been through."

Your heart raced. "Lucky..I want to be taken off life support."

His eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed. "Are you fucking insane? No!"

"Why not? It's what I want!"

"No, no I'm not letting you kill yourself!"

"I'm not killing myself when I'm already dying!" you debated.

He was silent when he buried his face into your blanket.

"I can't keep living off machines and going into useless surgeries! I'm hurting, can't you see?"

You were finally being honest about how you thought and felt, but it didn't feel like Lucky was truly understanding.

"I can see it, y/n. Damn it! I just," he frustratingly brushed his hair through with his fingers, "I can lose everything, but not you...Oh god, not you.."

You stayed silent.

"Y/n, is this really what you want?"

You nodded.

Lucky gulped, "Alright...I love you, I'll be back later."

He walked out of your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

I can lose everything, but not you...Oh god, not you