Demons~ Muke

Catch 22

Damned if I do, damned if I don't, let you go. I'm better off alone~

As much as I tried I couldn't stop the floods of tears from leaving my eyes. A few stray drops fell onto the letters, I just hoped they didn't realise when they read them. I got up from my desk, wiping my eyes on the paws I made from my thick, black sweater. I threw on a hoodie and put on my converse. I went downstairs, took the pills I wanted to use from my medicine cabinet that was virtually empty. Afterwards, sneaking upstairs, I opened my dad's door as gingerly as possible and placed the letter on his bedside table, I wish I could hug him for one last time but I knew I had to go. Next was Calum's house, there was a route we always took as teenagers to get into each others rooms so I managed to get up to his slightly a jar bedroom window in no time. I slid the letter through the slight gap, blew him a faint kiss through the glass barrier and left.
It killed me to walk to Luke's but it had to be done. Luckily his room was facing the front so I was able to do what I wanted. I got the letter, wrapped it around a suitably sized stone and tried my best to lob it through his window. A small crack appeared but it hasn't gone through, the letter landed nearby in the garden so I had to hurry up as I tried again because I didn't want him to come after me. Luckily the second time was successful but I was running before I was even able to see if a face appeared through his window.
Now all my goodbyes were said I needed a place to do it. I chose the alleyway where I clearly liked to be, my dad didn't know where it was, neither did Calum and Luke would've probably forgotten. I took the pills out of my pocket, examining each one. I had about 10 in total. 'Take 2 capsules every four hours" was printed on the directions for the medication. Hopefully 1 every 30 seconds would be sufficient for doing what I wanted to do. I started taking them one by one and chewing them individually. The taste was foul but I didn't mind. After taking about 7 I lay down and looked up at the sky, my body numb once again. The sky danced above my head and breeze tickled my skin. I was at peace, finally.
I took another pill.
The world was serene, it was paradise for me now, and nothing could ruin it, not even the pain. Soon I would be gone, just a few more pills and I would be ready to sleep for eternity. I hoped I could see my mother again, the prospect excited me so I took another drug. I was ready. I was ready. I was ready. My vision became patchy, black, white, black, white then the stars reappeared again. I heard cars, their wheels scraping over the concrete of the car parks and roads nearby. I was giggling to myself, in my own world at last. Then a shadow emerged from the darkness, it was a tall and dark shadow. A scary shadow. It moved quickly and sharply towards me, each step full of precision. "Yes." It said, shaking me now, I couldn't see it still. "Yes! Michael, yes." It exclaimed, I was confused, it started to shake me but my body was empty. I was definitely hallucinating. "Michael? Wake up, please. Michael? just blink if you can hear me." I tried with all my might to do what that shadow was telling me but I couldn't. I wasn't in control. I kept trying to blink, to make a noise but I just couldn't. It knew my name but I didn't know its name. My limbs were heavy, I couldn't move them. "Please, what have you taken? Michael, talk to me!" He was hysterical at this point, I think I could hear sobbing from the shadow. "Hi ambulance please, quickly, uh overdose, he's not responding. It's an alleyway near Frankie's in Sydney." He kept pausing, maybe he was nervous speaking to whoever it was. "I'll stay with him, hurry please. His name's Michael, my name's Luke." Luke was here, why was he here. I just wanted to tell him to go, he didn't understand why I had to do this. I think I groaned maybe, Luke was happier now. "He made a noise, he groaned, is that good? Will he be in pain? Is there anything I can do to help him." He was asking a string of frantic questions to whoever was on the phone. At least he cared. I think he was sat beside me now, he started stroking the side of my face, running his finger through my hair like he used to, telling me it would be okay. His voice was always reassuring to me. He kept stroking me, it was weird but it was nice. Then I heard a really high pitched wailing sound, sirens, cutting through the night. They came closer then vanished. Luke stood up at this point, there were voices and they were coming closer.

A/N it's written in the style of how Michael's thinking so the sentence structure and some of the stuff is different and that's why.