Demons~ Muke

Make me wanna die

Every time I look inside your eyes, you make me wanna die~

I hadn't actually taken anything in a while because I was happy. That didn't last long...
After the whole Luke and Alex situation I just had to have something. Something to take the edge off. Because after all: bad habits die hard and life destroying habits die even harder.
After school I made my way down to the familiar area full of strangers, regulars and some of my oldest acquaintances. My dealer strolled over to me with a grin on his face. I used to be one of his favourite customers, probably because I bought a lot, and bought often. "Michael, my man, how you doing?" He questioned, putting his arm around me as if we were long time friends.
"Could be better, but you wouldn't want me to be better otherwise I wouldn't give you any business." I joked with a forced smile.
"Well whatever it is, I'm sure it'll sort itself out. Now, what can I get you?" He said as if this were some kind of dainty little café. I wasn't really sure what to go for, which was probably my mistake because I didn't know what I was really about to take.
"Uh something strong, maybe heroin or something, what do you think?" He seemed pretty pleased as he took my order.
"Strong you say? I got just the thing." He walked away to a larger group of people disappearing amongst them for a moment before returning with a needle and a band for my arm. "This should do it for you." He smiled handing me everything.
"Um how much?" I asked, knowing it would be awfully expensive.
"Pay me next time, call this me doing a favour for a friend."
"Thanks Andy, I owe you one." Out of all the people I could 'owe one' to I really wished it wasn't Andy but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I tied the band around my bicep and took the needle in my right hand. It took a moment for me to locate a vein but when I did I sunk the metal tip into it, pressing down on the handle, releasing the substance into my blood stream. I rarely shot up, I usually just went for weed or pills, sometimes coke so this was fairly new to me. And in a second I was gone. My body was numb from the tips of my fingers to the centre of my body. My whole form had been taken over by this drug. It made me forget my name, forget where I was, forget who I knew, forget how to move. In those moments I certainly didn't think about Luke. I had escaped. There were fireworks in my brain, everything went black, then white, then I saw again.
He was stood there. His blonde hair was now dirty, messy, greasy. His nose was smothered in dried and dripping blood, his body littered with purple bruises. His lip was swollen and split and tears were rolling violently from his blood shot eyes.
"Luke?" I questioned frantically. He started walking towards me slowing, continuing to sob relentlessly.
"Help me Michael, help me." He screamed, his face now nearly touching mine. I tried to move, to crawl backwards, escape him but I couldn't. I was rooted to the spot. Frozen.
"This is your fault Michael, all your fault. You're useless, you're a waste of space, a waste of oxygen, and everyone around you would be better off without you here." He had stopped crying and started laughing, it was a crazed, villainous laugh. I was petrified, I couldn't breathe. "It's true, it's true, it's true, it's true!" I screamed back, now sobbing myself. In an instant he was gone and I was now surrounded by people, bombarding me with questions.
"But Luke?" I asked in a state of confusion scratching the back of my head.
"We don't know who he is bro, think you were on a trip." One of them piped up in response. So I was hallucinating, yet it looked so real, everything felt so real. The words he spoke were like blades being lunged in and out of my heart. Then it hit, the side effects. The anxiety, depression, paranoia. Every single one surrounding Luke, the person I was meant to be forgetting. Therefore, I decided that I needed a bigger hit, something else to take it all away. I used my punctured arm to lift myself of the ground, constantly looking behind me, it felt like someone was watching me, stalking their prey. I could feel their breath on my neck and hear a pattern of slow and heavy footprints behind me, only to look back and see nothing. I could feel everyone staring, all their eyes glued to me. I tried to find Andy but couldn't, someone else was there, he asked what was up. 
"Nothing, I need something else, you got anything?" I said monotonously. I did recognise the man in front of me I just couldn't quite put my finger on who it was. Nevertheless he began to rummage in his pockets, plucking out a baggie with a couple of pills in.
"These are pretty good, do you want a couple?" He asked, displaying the small, white drugs on his calloused hands.
"Yeah." I said taking 2 from his palm "Thanks." I added handing him 10 dollars, which he scrunched up and put away. I walked away, placing them both on my tongue.
I don't really know what happened after that but when I woke up the sun was rising. I was slumped up against a wall in my favourite alleyway. My head was throbbing and my mouth was lacking any sign of moisture. I knew I couldn't keep doing this, I couldn't continue going through the same mental torture every night. The only thing I was really living for now was Calum and bet even he wouldn't care if I just...vanished.

A/N lol I know nothing about heroin so sorry for any inaccuracies, I tried.