Live To Tell

Epilogue

'And... cut! That's it.' I heard the cameraman say and l wiped my tears for countless of times in a row. Going back in time and talking about my life next to Tupac, moment by moment, it has been the bravest thing I have ever done.

'Great job, Brooklyn. That was a fantastic story! The world cried and laughed with you, we received tons of messages on Twitter. You touched their hearts with your story. And mine, too. I never knew there could be a love so pure in this Hollywood life that's so money craving and desperate for affirmation. You really gave us all a life lesson tonight.' Martha Raddatz told me through her own tears. I smiled plainly and I nodded my head, there was nothing I could say more than thank you. I took the decision to tell my story a while back and I was very happy I was able to fulfill this plan, while I can. It hasn't been easy, but I was glad they could see me as this: a woman who loved a man who was too big for this world.

The big lights went off and I blinked trying to see around the room again. Martha stood up and hugged me. We exchanged some words back and forth while her crew packed their stuff. It was done. I was back in the present, in a house too big and too empty for all the memories I poured for the last two hours. It felt like forever, though... Soon enough they all left and it was just me again. Emptiness and silence filled the house quickly and also a very warm breeze hit my face. I looked around and I almost wish I was still talking about our life, this way I could still live those beautiful memories.

It's been almost 20 years since he passed away... and there's no day that goes by I don't remember him or wish he was here. I've done it all.... Movies, music, charity... I even tried to start dating again, I tried to have a family and kids. But I couldn't look at another man and not try to see Tupac in him, I couldn't even stand the presence of another man in my life because Tupac was just this big entity, so complex and so electric that anything and anyone that came after him was too small. How can I ever settle with less when I had the best? So I stayed alone, I turned myself into this strong, independent woman who doesn't feel the need to be in the presence of a man or have a man validate me. Which was true, I didn't need them. I just needed Tupac and he was far gone by now. I was told multiple times I need to let go, I need to overcome this trauma and try to live my life to the fullest. Therapists, friends, family... But who can really tell me I am wrong or right? They never met him like I did, they never loved him like I did. They just don't know and are unable to understand. And I can't explain that once you touched perfection life without it is just plain and tasteless. It doesn't make sense anymore.

I checked my phone while thinking all of this. A lot of messages of encouraging and sympathy from friends and family snatched a smile from my face. I told my truth, my story and now what? I looked around the living room and I could almost hear glass clicking and laughter from the many chill evening we used to have before. I went upstairs holding on the railing and I could almost see us run up and down these stairs and playfight. I haven't seen this house as a remaining of our love story in so long. Finally, I got in our bedroom, same room for over 20 years. Same furniture, same old fashioned carpet, golden sheets. I set down looking at the photos. The present has been grey since he was gone, but the photos I kept on our nightstand were coloring it.

This is it. I told myself as I set up looking through a drawer. Tonight I have accomplished my biggest goal. Tonight I've let the world see and love Tupac the way I did. And I also left behind some good movies and few good songs for people to know that I was here. I lived the past 20 years without Tupac and I have seen it all. I had nothing to tell the world anymore, I had nothing to prove anymore. So I grabbed the gun. Heavy, black glock Tupac kept around for our protection and own good.

I've waited 20 years for this moment to come and I had never been more excited before. I checked the gun for bullets. Tonight, I'm going to see my husband. I put the gun to my temple. Tonight, I'm going to be in his arms. Tonight, I'm going home. Because I know he's been waiting for me too.

20 years.

One pull of the trigger.

And I saw his face. For eternity.

Together.

The End

Now that this story has finally come to an end, I want to thank each and every one of you for reading it, it means the world to mean to know that a small little idea turned into a story you enjoyed and liked. Thank you and I promise this is not the last time you read about Brooke and Tupac.

Until next time, please stay safe and keep your head up.

Makavelichild.