When Fate Play It's Game!

Chapter 8

So, here's another chapter :)))

hope you'll like it :))

-Chapter 8-

                I was looking outside the car window sitting silently at the backseat of Mom’s car. We are now on our way to Cassel’s town after Mr. Berlin permits me. I can feel Ma and Mom’s gazed at me but I ignored them. My mind is processing the conversation with Mr. Berlin a while ago. The way he talked to me, it’s just like he can understand me. He knows how to enlighten me. That’s probably because he’s a psychologist.

                Still looking outside the car window the car passed by Mc. Linden high school. This school reminds me so much of Jerremy. I bit my lower lip as the thought about me and Jerremy refresh my memory. I’m now going to leave this city. The city where Jerremy and I had known each other but, all my memories with him will be left here. I want to start all over again. But, before anything else, I must say goodbye to Jerremy first. I still haven’t gone to his grave yet. It will be reliefs if I could at least, send him a farewell.

                “Mom?”, I called out. I saw her reflection gaping at me in the mirror raising her brows, giving me a ‘WHAT’ look. I gulped and then spoke.

                “I just thought that... you know we can pass by Jerremy’s grave.”

                They both widen their eyes and jaws were dropped. Ma turned her head behind to the backseat to look at me. I don’t know what they are thinking. Their face draws confusion. They probably misunderstood my intention. Anyways, I can’t blame them if they worry about me.

                “I just want to say goodbye!”, I firmly said as I noticed that Ma was about to say something. I heard both of them sighed in relief. Ma turned her head in front and places her hand on top of Mom’s lap. Mom looked at her and they both smiled.

                “Of course, Sweetheart!”, she cheerfully said and focused on the road again. Ma turned her head to me again and smiled. Their smiles were not like the smile they used to give me when I was still in my room, prisoning myself. The weak smile before was now joyful smile.

***

                The car stopped in front of a private cemetery. This cemetery is intended for Allens family. Not far from where the car is parked, is a small fence in grave. I walked towards it as Ma and Mom stood still outside the car. My legs were getting a bit shaky as if it was losing its control as I was getting closer to the grave.

                I took a deep breath before opening the gate and entered. I saw the cement that is glued on the ground.

                                ‘In loving memory of Jerremy Allens. September 18, 2012’

                Reading what is sculptured in that cement brought a cold feeling across my spine. My eyes began to blur as the tears now wanted to escape. I slowly walk closer to the grave and bend forward to place the flowers I bought beside his printed name.

                “H… Hey, Babe!”, I greeted in low tone. I actually don’t know what to say at that moment. My mind was mentally blank, starring at the ground. I rested both my hand across my chest, caressing both my arm. There’s so much I wanted to say to him back then but now that I’m here, I’ve ran out of words.

                I swallowed a lump that was now forming in my throat as I’m thinking of what to say. I haven’t gone to his grave since I was discharged out of the hospital. I gulped again and then spoke.

                “It’s been a while, babe!” , I started, trying to hold back the tears, “I’m sorry if I haven’t visited you since then. I was not yet ready to face you.” , I felt the tears slowly falls down in every word that I utter. I tightened my hold on my arms as I fought the urge of bursting out a loud cry. I have to be strong and to not let Jerremy witness that I can’t live without him. I should say what I have to say so that I can get out of here. I want this to be over so that I could be free of guilt.

                “I think, I have to get to the point why I came here, Babe!, I just want to say sorry. Sorry for not being there for you, for not helping you. I know I should be there beside you at that moment but I didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry babe. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would really spend all my hours with you but I just can’t. I guess this is where our story ends.” , I paused as I can’t fight back the tears that were now freely falling from my eyes. I raised my hands to cover my face and sobbed. I don’t know why, but every time I did this there’s a comfort that is brought to my body.

                My legs lost its control and I kneed on the ground. I bit my lower lip to refrain myself from crying loudly. I don’t want them to notice that I’m still affected of Jerremy’s death, still, I am though. I wiped my eyes using my bare hands and looked down on his printed name.

                “I missed you so much, Babe!” , I whispered in sad tone. I stayed at that position for about a minute or two, and just starred at Jerremy’s name. I stood up as I felt the gusting of the wind which made a cold feeling throughout my body.

                “I’m now leaving this city, Babe.”, I said as I was now standing embracing myself, “I also came to thank you. I had lots of good memories here because of you. But like what I have said, it’s now the end of our story, and it pains me to have unhappy ending with you. It’s not easy living without you babe, but I have to. I’ll be back as soon as I am healed and found the new me.”

I take a few stepped backwards and tries to form a fake smile, “I love you, Babe! And, Goodbye!” , I bit my lower lip as I turned my back to his grave heading towards the car. Tears were falling freely as the air slowly flashes on my face blowing the strands of my hair.

Ma and Mom embraced me tightly as I reached the car. I really felt of mixed of emotions. But the dominant feeling now is a relief that somehow, I was able to visit Jerremy and to tell him all the things that I wanted him to know.

Ma opened the car door for me. I sat quietly and starred outside the car window. Mom started driving. I looked at Jerremy’s grave as it was becoming smaller and smaller because of the distance until it’s nowhere to be seen.

“Good bye, Jerremy! Thank you for everything!” , I muttered.

---

A.N

Weee.. Dom't hate me for this :))

I'm only doing this for new characters sake, which plays a really big part of the story. The real story has just began :)) By the way, the song for this chapter Let Him (her) go Passenger ( yeah girl version I think it fits for Mori :)))

And oh.. Please vote, comment and follow :)

Roblair :))