***Melanie's P.O.V***
My emotions were on over drive as Harry drove us back to his hell hole. I felt so many emotion burning within me, I felt like I was going to explode, a they ran through my veins like a wild bush fire.
Anger. I felt so much anger towards Harry. He had taken away everything that was good in my life, and replaced it with so much sorrow, I had forgotten what I felt like to smile. Kendall was dead. He was really dead this time, there was no way he could have survived a bullet through his brain. Just the though of Harry made my nauseous, and made anger burn inside me, making my body yearn to slap him, to scream at him, to inflict the same hell he had given me.
Pain. Not only emotionally, but physically too. Although Harry had stopped the bleeding with his t-shirt, it still hurt. My wound was stinging and burning, and it never stopped. Add to that the emotional pain of losing Kendall and Charlie, and it felt like my heart had been ripped out, torn to shreds, and stomped on. The pain was too much for me to handle, and it was killing me slowly, and I felt it every second of every day.
Sadness. Harry had taken away any hint of happiness away from me, and replaced it with sorrow. My heart ached from the day I met Harry, and it was never going to heal. I felt like my entire life was growing in dark cold shadows now, never seeing a single ray of sunshine, like the sun had been blocked out of my life, blocked out by Harry. People can only handle so much sadness, before they want to end their life, and I was beyond that point. The sadness was unbearable, and something told me I would always feel this way.
All of these emotion were burning inside of me, and it was too confusing to know what one was in the control, which emotion dominated me. When I was shot, it was the physical pain, when Kendall was shot it was the sadness, and when Harry threw me in this car it was the anger, and now they were all bundled together, causing me to be a big crying mess, yearning and craving for nothing more than for it to all end. I just wanted this to all stop. I didn't want to feeling anything anymore.
Numb.
I just wanted to be numb, and stop caring. Like I could just flick a switch, and stop caring. Stop the pain, the anger, and the sadness. To stop this all.
But I can't.
No matter how hard I tried, my emotions wouldn't allow it. I felt too much, that it was impossible to feel nothing. Whether it was the anger or the sadness, one of my emotions, would never allow me to forget. Would never allow me to stop caring. I was doomed to feel everything, yet crave to feel nothing.
"We will be together forever Mel."
Kendall's words echoed in my head. My body shook and I cried as memories flooded in me, washing through me. I remember the day when Kendall and I were in school, and I had gone through a break up. Kendall had taken me to my happy place, the beach. We sat on the beach and talked and he made me smile again. Kendall was always good like that. Always brought light into the dark, but now he was gone, he couldn't do that now. All I had left of him were these precious memories.
"Life is a funny thing, Mel." Kendall smiled at me, pulling me into his side as we sat together on the beach, watching the sun set. The warm summer breeze wrapped around me like a blanket, bringing a smile to my face. "We go through these struggles, never knowing why we do. Never knowing why we have to suffer so much. We want it all to end, and think we'll never get through," Kendall explain. "But then the sun come out again. When we least expect it. And it drowns out the darkness and the sorrow, and we forget all about the pain that we thought would be the end of us." Kendall laughed, hugging me tightly.
"Then the darkness comes again." I grumbled, my heart still hurting over my break up.
"Good will come from this though Mel" Kendall encouraged me. I scoffed at his remark, always trying to be the optimist.
